Cosplay Confessional – Frozen Failures

Welcome back to my Cosplay Confessional, the blog post that started (and I thought would end) here, but grew too big for its britches and so has spilled out into a second section.  I’m anticipating there being four or five parts to this, but I may think of more costumes I want to do.  I never know when inspiration will strike me…or when I’ll remember something I thought of before.

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Awesome Cosplay of the Day: 6/27/15

The Caffeine Crew

So I forgot to post yesterday’s cosplay.  Wibbley wobbly timey wimey blah blah I’m a time lord so it’s yesterday again.  Actually…I remembered I’d forgotten around four in the morning, but I’d just finished drafting another blog post and couldn’t be bothered with anything other than mocking my cats and going to bed.

However, upon checking this morning, I’m sorry I didn’t post this as it’s a lovely way to finish off my week of FFVII and, well, lay it (temporarily) to rest in a cosplay by Deviant Artist SerinuCeli appropriately titled farewell.


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Chapter 14 – Forget Me Not

<–Chapter 13                                                                                                Chapter 15–>

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII, its characters, and settings are all property of Square Enix so I can take no credit nor claim any ownership of that. I do take some credit for the story’s plot.
Artwork Disclaimer: The below picture is located here. It was neither created by nor does it belong to me.
Author’s Note: It’s been a while since I’ve given you a music recommendation.  This one is for after the break (marked by this symbol * if you were wondering), and it adds a poignant layer to an already bittersweet part.  Sarah McLachlan’s Full of Grace. Listen while you read if you wish and let me know if you think it fits, and if you do think it fits, you might enjoy the video slideshow I made of it found here.
“Somewhere inside of me there will always be the person I am tonight.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald “Tender Is the Night”
“Remember, I’ll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me…”
-Josh Groban, Troy “Remember Me”

Chapter 14 - Forget Me Not

Every day Sephiroth woke in heaven, though he never slept. Aeris lived in his arms from night until dawn, from dreams until waking joy. He wondered as she kissed him with the fervor of prayer what he’d done to deserve this grace.

“I forgive you,” she’d tell him often of a morn, knowing the words he so desperately needed. The tormenting demon would cringe from the blow, then sink its claws even deeper.

“I know you do, Aeris.” He’d lay lips to her brow before rising to make her breakfast. It was domestic and simple and he enjoyed it far better than entrails and blackened blood.

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Awesome Cosplay of the Day: 6/25/15

My OTP forever.

The Caffeine Crew

♫I will go down with this ship.
I won’t put my hands up and surrender!♫

Yes, they’re my favorite OTP.  Yes, I’m aware they’re not canon (though rumor has it that once they might have been).  Yes, I definitely saw this.

The Feather The lily and the feather

I also spent about five minutes crying uncontrollably because I initially googled FFVII remake and found a four hour video of reactions, and well I’m a super empath and feels ;_;

Yes, I love this portrayal by XiaoStarCosplay.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to continue my inconsolably weeping.

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Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 8 – Hardhome

<–S5E7 – The Gift                                                       S5E9 – The Dance of Dragons–>

Welcome back to my increasingly late review/analysis of Game of Thrones season 5!  Well…now that we’re here a week and a half after the season finale but only on episode 8 in the review, there’s a bit of wibley wobbly timey whimey shenanigans to contend with.  I will try my hardest to not make any mention of later episodes, but as I am also doing book to show comparisons, a little bit of the former might leak through..

Many of my beloved theorists consider this to be the best episode of the season, and they are raving about what happened prior to the conclusion as they should be.  We will get to that when we get to it, and belying the title at the beginning, Hardhome shall be the last place we go in this review.

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Awesome Cosplay of the Day: 6/23/15

The Caffeine Crew

It is a great time to be an FFVII fangirl.  I found Sephiroth contact lenses, received the Sephiroth T-shirt I bought in the mail, more people are reading my fanfiction.  I’m…just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  If life is too good, what then is death?

While we ponder that, let us revel in not only an Aeris cosplay, but a “drowned” Aeris cosplay.

06232015“We have lingered in the chambers of the sea,
By sea-girls wreathed in seaweed red and brown,
Til human voices wake us, and we drown.”
-T.S. Eliot “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”

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Awesome Cosplay of the Day: 6/22/15

The Caffeine Crew

Sometime between last post and this one I decided this would be a week of FFVII to celebrate the remake, because it’s all I’m going to think about anyway (well that and Game of Thrones).  As the news has continued to filter down, Squeenix has revealed that it’s actually going to be a remake and not just them slapping some new graphics on it and fixing some poor translations.  This…has made some people worried (me included), but one thing they’ve promised to not change is the cross-dressing because god knows the fandom would implode with that foundation.


A girl dressed like a guy who’s dressed as a girl.  The meta is strong in this cosplay.

I have to admit my shame…I’ve studied Norse mythology for two decades, but it’s been a while since I’ve read up on it.  I was explaining the reasons behind Cloud in a dress to fellow…

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Awesome Cosplay of the Day: 6/21/15

The Caffeine Crew

This week has been so overwhelming…I usually set up all of my cosplays to schedule, but here I am at 10:00 on Sunday with only this one.  Not to mention my second favorite fandom Game of Thrones also blew up due to the season 5 finale (no spoilers).  People not in either fandom were all like…

Hm, shit is on fire.

You all know what I’m going to talk about so I’ll just get to it with a HOLY SHIT, they’re finally finally doing an HD FFVII remake (Sephiroth in HD, I can’t even…like I CAN’T even).

Please don’t fuck it up.

I…can’t explain to you the feels I have about this right now.  I burst into tears at work last week when my playlist jumped to one of the songs.  I will be blogging more about this later on my own personal WordPress, because oddly enough I drafted a…

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Chapter 13 – Establishments

<–Chapter 12                                                                                                Chapter 14–>

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII, its characters, and settings are all property of Square Enix so I can take no credit nor claim any ownership of that. I do take some credit for the story’s plot.
Artwork Disclaimer: The below picture is located here on this website. It was neither drawn by nor does it belong to me.
“Until we have seen someone’s darkness, we don’t really know who they are
Until we have forgiven someone’s darkness, we don’t really know what love is.”
-Marianne Williamson

Chaptr 13 - Establishments

The sky was clear, the dawn spoke of roses, and Aeris was alone. Wrapped again in two blankets, she waded from fading dreams. Sitting up to the spill of freed chestnut, the flower girl squinted in daylight. I’ll have to get used to that…seeing the sun, and she frowned as she rubbed her eyes. The quiet of a humble seaside town was so different from the mute of the slums, for though the sea ever hushed, it was part of a silence that never held distant screams.

Aeris sat cloaked in this peace to the occasional gull call and wondered about her heart. It was jack-knifing so sharp to the side as though a stone grew in its midst.

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By now we’ve all heard about the amazing Christopher Lee’s death.  It’s funny how you don’t know how fantastic someone is until they die.  When Leonard Nimoy went where no one has gone before (and returned) how much more awesome he was spilled out into the public discourse.  This is not normally something I would blog about.  Of course I love the Lord of the Rings movies, and LN was Spock so, um, epic, but not really something I’d find the need to write about, but then I ran across this on my tumblr dashboard.

And I was overcome with feels.  Memory…is a huge thing for me.  Being remembered, not being forgotten.  I think about this all the time.  It’s the thread that runs through my most treasured narratives: the paradigm of remembrance.  So long as people remember you, you’ll never truly die.  Shakespeare has been dead for half a millennium, but his name will go on through the ages.  Antiquity will never leave him behind.  The earth will become a cold, black stone when all that is living has turned to dust, but those who remain to carry forth stories will know the works of the Bard.

But for us poor and grieving who have no great deeds, who shall remember our names?  In John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars Hazel and Gus have the following conversation.

“How many dead people do you think there are?”
“Like, how many fictional people died in that fictional movie?  Not enough,” he joked.
“No, I mean, like, ever.  Like how many people do you think have ever died
“I happen to know the answer to the question,” he said.  “There are seven billion living people, and about ninety-eight billion dead people.”
“Oh,” I said.  I’d thought that maybe since population growth had been so fast, there were more people alive than all the dead combined.
“There are about fourteen dead people for every living person,” he said.  The credits continued rolling.  It took a long time to identify all those corpses, I guess.  My head was still on his shoulder.  “I did some research on this a couple of years,” Augustus continued.  “I was wondering if everybody could be remembered.  Like, if we got organized, and assigned a certain number of corpses to each living person, would there be enough living people to remember all the dead people?”
“And are there?”
“Sure, anyone can name fourteen dead people.  But we’re disorganized mourners, so a lot of people end up remembering Shakespeare, and no one remembers the person he wrote Sonnet Fifty-five about.”

I think of the “fourteen people” conversation all the time.  If we all remembered fourteen people than no one would ever have to be forgotten.  This paradigm is also implemented in the animated film The Book of Life, which features La Muerte whom I absolutely adore.  Her look is just exquisite.

I wish to be half as cool.

In the movie the dead people with loved ones still alive to honor them on the Day of the Dead dwell in the Land of the Remembered while those who have no one wither away in the Land of the Forgotten.  But…once all those who love you are dead, will you not fade into the Land of the Forgotten?  When no one is left to remember you, who will light candles on your behalf so you don’t become one of them?  When all are gone and dead as dust, then no one will even be memory.

If I wanted to be morbid and nihilistic I would continue along this vein.  In the end when there is nothing left and only dust shall spin in the silence, there will be no memories.  There will be nothing, as it was before so shall it be forever.  No one will be a memory and I remain in this existential crisis.  It’s something we all must face: eternal oblivion.  So long as there’s consciousness left to remember, then some will not be forgotten, but once consciousness blinks out into the darkness, then there will be nothing left.  There is a name that means “memory,” or more so “remembered by God.”  Zachary.  FFVII is literally about memory.

Finally, Homer’s Iliad comes to mind because of what Achilles was told.  It was the choice of every man.  Stay home, be safe, raise a family, and be forgotten.   Your children will remember you and perhaps your grandchildren, but after that, no one will.  Live the safe but long life and be lost to the ages, but paint yourself with glory, (more than likely) die young, and everyone will know your name.  Achilles wanted the glorious life and so choose to go with Agamemnon to Troy because though the warrior knew by prophecy that he would die, he also knew he would not be forgotten.  Death is an empty door.  Once you’re gone, you’re gone.

“Who has choices need not choose,
We don’t who have none,
We can love, but what we lose,
What is gone is gone.”

-Peter S Beagle “The Last Unicorn”

Asking me my beliefs about continued existence is as empty a door as death so seems.  I don’t know.  I want to believe something.  I want to think we become more than mere memories (not that memory is a mean thing).  I want Augustus’s words from The Fault In Our Stars “I don’t believe we return to haunt or comfort the living or anything, but I think something becomes of us” to be true.

As awful as the world of FFVII is in its dystopian gloom, at the very least you know what happens to you after you die.  I believe this was what first endeared me to the story, but currently it is John Green who has had the most comforting and profound things to say about the subject.  His Looking for Alaska has the gorgeous line that I return to for its hopeful resonance.

“Thomas Edison’s last words were ‘It’s very beautiful over there.’  I don’t know where there is, but I believe it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s beautiful.” 

I hope it is, too.