The State of the Writer: 5/21/16

<–The State of the Writer: 5/14/16          The State of the Writer: 5/28/16–>

A weekly post updated every Saturday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Previous Word Count: 250,755
Current Word Count: 255,902
Words Written This Week: 5147
Status: WIP

Pink Teardrop Necklace

One of the best things about this WIP is the fancy jewelry and clothing I describe throughout.  It’s a stark comparison between the horrific foundation that resonates in the narrative.  It doesn’t make up for that. At. All.  I am not the type to think that decent if not luxurious treatment in any way balances out abuse.  In fact, such a thought is repugnant as it borders on the idea that what people go through is somehow then “paid for” later by fair/equal treatment.  Just no.  This aligns with the “everything happens for a reason” crowd.  The entire time I work on this story, I make sure to in no way insinuate that Aeris’s wonderful treatment in the (majority of) the mise en scene is her “reward” for enduring worse than hell, because I don’t believe any victim/survivor of abuse deserves to be treated well or beyond well afterwards for that reason.  They should be treated well, but basic human decency or luxury is not a reward or payment for horrendous abuse.  I’ll leave this link here and move on with my post.

This week was hard for writing.  I found myself reading what I wrote the day before and not having the energy to continue writing so that would happen the following day.  I dislike being in an every other day cycle with writing, but I always reread what I put down in the prior session.  It gets me back into the story while I do some minor edits.  I’m a perfectionist though, and I will spend a while on something that doesn’t seem right right then and there.  I feel/fear if I can’t correct it and/or think of a better turn of phrase that all of my writing is for naught.  It’s hypercritical I know, but I become hung up on it.  I have to fix egregious errors and/or think of a (better) simile/metaphor/comparison otherwise I’ll feel that my writing for that session will be shit anyway.  The odd thing is the days I feel like it’s just plodding along often turn into some of my best sessions, while inversely, the days I’m flying through leaving words in my wake like molting feathers, the next reveals many were shed for being useless.  I try to always remember that this is just the “shoveling”  process, and the castles can be later built.

This is the reason editing exists.  I try to tell myself this so I can fill the box.  There are a quarter million grains in there right now.  I suppose it’s fitting that the story takes place near the sea.

Content Warning: Quote contains mentions of rape.

Quote: On the way home, he bought her a headband made of diamond and silver leaves, then several books, while staring forlorn for the day she could come her herself.  Imagining his little flower amongst cases and shelves bound his blood in bittersweet.  She’d clutch his hand to lead him through, pointing out everything to dual delights.  Sighing, the general shook away silver bangs, thanked the clerk, and took his leave.  Stepping away was always an option, but Sephiroth rarely did that in presence.  The in between was a place of shadows and he rarely went there unconcealed.  They know what I am.  They need no reminder of the horror that dwells in their midst.  But the cheerful greetings and emphatic waves gave the fallen reason to enjoy his walk back.  They…adore me, as she does.  No, he realized with near stricken awe.  No one adores me like my Aeris.  He clutched the books tight to his side and forced himself not to snap the circlet.  But…they know, while she does not.  I’m…forcing her into false veneration.  That twisted his face into self-revulsion as Sephiroth stepped through his front door.  He’d wanted the sea to calm his thoughts so had bided a few moments outside.
Expecting his phone to report any minute, the general set down today’s gifts.  It’s…how many days?  Oh gods, I forget…I’m sure she remembers though.  More than three months now.  Will she count forever?  Will the thousandth day stir memory?  The Great General peered down at his offerings and how paltry and plain they were.  What were jewels and words to a century of suffering?  He had to do better by her.  Nothing I do and no gift I give will erase my truth from her eyes.  Once she knows there is no unknowing, and I’ll be a monster to her.
He sighed then narrowed his eyes at his phone.  The evening was creeping upon.  His heart did not pound and no storm sundered sky, but the pain that pierced there locked his fist.  He was wrong.  He had lied.  Someone had hurt her.  Someone had harmed his rose.  He’d left her alone.  He’d left her defenseless and some man had proven he’d spoken a bitter falsehood.  This delicate flower who’d been brutally taken for over a hundred years had been raped again because he’d been remiss and left her where she wasn’t safe.  Myrna and Nellie were not her protectors.  That task was bestowed upon him.  He who had killed her had been given the privilege of protecting her forever more, and he had failed.  He was worse than a failure, because he was supposed to be the best.

Project: Book Review
Title: Taggerung
Author: Brian Jacques


I want to either complete or start this today, but it’s currently 7 in the evening where I am, and I haven’t had a chance to work on my writing project, this may be pushed back.  I want to say it’s not going to take very long to review/analyze, but it’s going to be at least 3 hours, and The Broken Rose is my first priority.  I’ll have a bit to say about the Redwall world in general as well as this novel in particular.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

I look forward to your answers in the comments!

<–The State of the Writer: 5/14/16          The State of the Writer: 5/28/16–>


6 thoughts on “The State of the Writer: 5/21/16

  1. Pingback: The State of the Writer: 5/14/16 | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

    • That’s what I tell myself while I’m slogging through a writing session. I have this idea that if it’s not good at the outset, it’ll never be good, even though I know logically I can ALWAYS go back and fix/edit. Remembering that really does help.


    • Aw thank you! I drink LOTS of coffee and I have a lot of things in my notes to write about. I’m also a perfectionist so I try to be as detailed as possible and make sure it sounds right hehe. i definitely have more ideas than I could ever ask for and not nearly enough to time to get them all down.


  2. Pingback: The State of the Writer: 5/28/16 | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

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