The Editing of Northern Lights – The Second of the Seventh is Sorrow

These are the Editing Notes for my FFVII fanfiction Northern Lights (which you can find at the end of that link).  I will be discussing a myriad of topics along with my frequently tangential and harried editing process.  You should be able to garner some enjoyment and insight from this without having read the story and/or without prior knowledge of the original game, but if you’re a fan of paranormal romance and/or dark fantasy, you may find it to your liking.  The story will be spoiled in this editing examination, though I will do my best to mark spoilers for any other narratives I mention.  Thanks for your interest and enjoy!

<–The Seventh Is the Saddest          Chapter 8 and the True Story–>

Welcome to the second edit of Chapter 7.  Yeah, I sound uber stoked.  Not that I’m not excited for the editing or the blog, it’s just been a rough couple of days.  Let’s just say that things never turn out the way you plan/expect, and it can be very disheartening.  But I’m not going to bore you with my stupid life; I’d rather bore you with my stupid story 😉

I always try not to write exactly the same sentence as the one prior in terms of style.  So no two sentences in a row start with “The” or a gerund or the same name (or I attempt not to let this occur).  Readers tend to get bored of the same sentence type over and over again.  Sometimes readers aren’t morons (except when they are).

The coat thing is really bugging me.  I don’t think he would remove hers.  It’s too invasive/obtrusive.  Also the glove thing.  I want to say Sephiroth’s still wearing his gloves because he only really removes them when Aeris asks him to at this point.  I…don’t think I’m really clear about the gloves actually.  I never say whether he keeps them on or off.  Ah well, it’s going to be one of those things that could be either or.  I think the bank thing also astonishes her because it’s so normal.

I know I’ve mentioned my angel head canon.  Well one of the major things about angels is they have stars swimming in their eyes like universes untold…except for fallen, so Sephiroth does not have stars inherent in emerald, only the reflection of light so cold.  That’s why the stars “melt in emerald” oooooor they did before I changed it.  Huh, this editing session is full of fail today, isn’t it?

At least it's adorable fail

At least it’s adorable fail

I suppose it’s fitting…these past few days have definitely matched.  Ugh, it’s not even maudlin Mondays, readers.  Tis the Thursday before Halloween *sigh*  Anyway…Seph hates any references to himself as “the general” at this point.  It’s a staunch reminder of the past.  When they’re outside under the starlight, he’s pretty much expecting her hatred and derision to fall upon him in full force.  What else can he expect?  It’s what he’s been waiting for, but she gives him nothing but kindness.  Not…quite the word I’m looking for (see above picture).

Well guys I’m actually done with this day’s editing; it was pretty short.  I could go to the next day, but I’ll level with you, I’m pretty depressed right about now, and I just don’t have the heart to keep going.  Well…it’s barely even a page.  Alright I’ll push on.  Maybe I’ll clue you in on why I’m so upset.  Unfortunately, depression is a demon I fight on a regular basis.  Sometimes I can hold the walls and keep the worst of it out, but sometimes it worms its ways through the cracks and washes everything I’ve built up against it away.  It’s no accident that I write stories like Northern Lights with characters that have serious demons to fight and who are experts at keeping themselves hidden.  Yep more conceal don’t feel.  It’s also no surprise that films like Frozen are on my top list since there are numerous pages explaining how it’s a metaphor for depression.  The link just goes to one and not the one I really wanted, but it’s a start (and how appropriate is it that “Let it Go” just started playing on my iPhone).  Let me just move onto the next date…maybe I’ll talk about what’s eating me later.  I may have found a solution.  I don’t mean to be so super cryptic, I just…I don’t know.  I’m all over the place today.  Sorry guys :\

I think I mentioned the non-tangling hair and no split ends above, but yeah, it just makes life easier for me (and for poor Seph) to not have to deal with that.  He has enough problems like a past that consists of choices between “vanity and pain.”

So much unnecessary shit.  Like the desk clerk smiling.  Who cares?  I also removed some “flirtier” stuff.  It’s too soon to delve too deeply into that (ha).

“The clear sky above ignited his skin and hair so they gleamed palely burning, but the light from his eyes almost shamed this white fire, a sea that swirled deep to forever.”  I hope I don’t over describe him.  I’m very guilty of that.  Also purple prose, the purpliest.

“She led him forward where eternity coalesced and pointed up so his gaze would follow.  But he knew too well what that sky could contain and had no interest in paradise lost.”  Yessssss!  I couldn’t pass that opportunity up.

“’There’s a strength in forgiveness, my little flower, that hate can never match.’”  I think I missed talking about this line in my first edit.  My cousin posted a status that contained this a few months ago along with the “Hate corrodes the container it’s carried in.”  The full status/quote was “Hate corrodes the container it’s carried in.  There is strength in forgiveness.”  I can’t find a source for the quote so I think it might be one of those social media platitudes, but there’s power in it.  The moment I saw it, I knew it would fit with Aeris and Sephiroth’s dynamic in this tale.  It’s a pillar of Northern Lights.  The strength and power of forgiveness.  That’s what this story is about.

Ah this chapter and it’s gut-wrenching lines.  “For in that moment he blessed the light that poured out of his eyes.  To be able to see that beautiful smile made it worth it to be a monster.”

“’It’s growing chill,’” Sephiroth murmured, “’and little flowers weren’t meant for the cold.’”  Foreshadowing and also a statement in response per se to what Aeris insists about what you’re made for and what you’re meant for.  Little flowers may not be meant for the cold, but that doesn’t mean they can’t weather it if they wish.

“…Aeris rested her palms on his shoulders, face to face with grief’s residue.”  He’s the poster child for a gothic angel.

Feathers and sorrow

Feathers and sorrow

Let’s do a google search.  I know I did “dark seraph” quite a few posts ago; let’s give “gothic angel” a try!  I was not disappointed (but I don’t want to use the image without permission.  The artist has her own blog along with Deviant Art, and I actually own some of these prints!  Like I’ve purchased them aka this one. So a link it is).  And also not inappropriately Sarah McLachlan’s “Fallen” just came on my iPhone.

Hm, Sarah has a song called “Fallen” and one called “Angel.  Just an observation.

“He carried her to the bed.”  Less implication and more foreshadowing or the foreshadowing of an implication or the implication of foreshadowing.  What do you want from me today?  I’m tired and sad.

“He saw it, but could barely believe, her lips pressed soft to his brow.  Emerald shut fully as he dared not breathe and cut this moment short.”  Really?  Really?  I just had to correct something, and this is after the second edit.  This isn’t doing much to lift my spirits.  Aeris always initiates these things.  She has to.  As fore mentioned Sephiroth won’t.

There is definite foreshadowing in Eliot’s poem, holy shit…how did I not notice this before.

“Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go…”

Wow…wow.  I hope you guys have read the entire story by now so you know what the hell I’m talking about.

This concludes the second edit of Chapter 7 with a revelation.  Could it ever be any other way?

Thanks for bearing with me and my melancholy, dear readers.  I’ll try to be better next time.

<–The Seventh Is the Saddest



3 thoughts on “The Editing of Northern Lights – The Second of the Seventh is Sorrow

  1. Pingback: The Editing of Northern Lights – The Seventh is the Saddest | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

  2. Pingback: The State of the Reader: 7/6/16 | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

  3. Pingback: The Editing of Northern Lights – Chapter 8 and the True Story | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

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