Month: September 2016

Final Fantasy Friday: Final Fantasy Tarot – VI The Lovers

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 13 Comments

<–V The Hierophant                                                                         VII The Chariot–>

This is my current Final Fantasy Friday post where I’ll be discussing which characters I think exemplify each card of the Major Arcana.  If this is your first time here, please head over to my Final Fantasy Tarot page for explanation.  Now onto the next card!

VI The Lovers

the-lovers-cecil-and-rose

*The picture of Cecil and Rosa is entitled Final Fantasy IV by Deviant Artist LaurenMontgomery

This was almost a freebie card as it really could’ve been any Final Fantasy lovers, but I went with my favorite Cecil and Rosa from Final Fantasy IV.  I love the dichotomy of light and darkness in all areas, but IV did it a little bit different in having Cecil be a legitimate and bonifide white knight for true.  While I hate the fact he thought he wasn’t good enough for Rosa as a dark knight, I have, er, aesthetic reasons for loving his paladin look.

The Lovers as a card is associated with relationships exactly as one would expect, its appearance in a spread meaning some decision about an existing relationship, a temptation of the heart, and/or a choice in potential partners is going to be presented.  This makes me lean towards Cecil, Rosa, and the mien of FFIV even more since the game presents a sort of a love triangle with Cecil’s best friend Kain, though there isn’t much evidence presented that Rosa has any feelings towards him at all, and Kain’s case is quite unrequited.  The card presents the dichotomy of one partner being chosen, while another is turned down, and that certainly fits FFIV to a tee.

Alternates: Celes & Locke (VI), Squall & Rinoa (VIII), Garnet/Dagger & Zidane (IX), Tidus & Yuna (X)

I used to love the Celes & Locke OTP, but now that I’m older I see it more like Leia and Han, and that relationship would not work out so well (as we saw in Episode VII).  Celes was the general of the Imperial army, and Locke is a treasure hunter.  She’s elite, near royalty, and he’s pretty much a thief.  As a teenager the idea of opposites attracting hadn’t yet been proven fallacious, plus I was way more into traditional Rescue Romances back then, but now as a crotchety old gamer, it’s kind of ludicrous that Celes would tolerate that for more than five minutes, and my fanfiction writer friend runicmagitek has well solidified my love for Celes & Setzer now.

I’m just not a huge fan of Squall & Rinoa for different reasons.  She has so little personality besides Manic Pixie Dream Girl and is more of a plot device than an actual character.  I guess they were going for “lighthearted girl brings brooding loner out of his shell,” but it didn’t seem wholly genuine.  Tbh I’d like Squall & Selphie more.  That little lady had spunk, and her super green eyes reminded me of Aeris.

Btw notice I didn’t mention FFVII, because I am not touching that love triangle, flame war starting nonsense with a seven foot pole.  The only “couple” that would have a ghost of a chance for me to pick would be Vincent & Lucrecia, especially considering “the dichotomy of one partner being chosen, while another is turned down.”  That decision most certainly led to woe and regret.

A round of applause for hungrygoriya for perfectly guessing the canon couple!

There were two guesses for Squall & Rinoa and one for Snow & Serah.  Alas, I have not played any games after FFXII.  This means I may have to revise this list after I get to later games, but the information at least rules some characters out.

Next week is VII The Chariot, a bit of a complex card that made me reconsider my prior choice.  I was going to pick one of the airships; however, at recent examination (and using this site for a better resource), there is a person I think fits the mold.  Happy guessing!

<–V The Hierophant                                                                         VII The Chariot–>

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The Editing of Northern Lights – The Box Contains More Chapter 8

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 6 Comments
These are the Editing Notes for my FFVII fanfiction Northern Lights (which you can find at the end of that link).  I will be discussing a myriad of topics along with my frequently tangential and harried editing process.  You should be able to garner some enjoyment and insight from this without having read the story and/or without prior knowledge of the original game, but if you’re a fan of paranormal romance and/or dark fantasy, you may find it to your liking.  The story will be spoiled in this editing examination, though I will do my best to mark spoilers for any other narratives I mention.  Thanks for your interest and enjoy!

<–Chapter 8 Should Bring Happiness          Chapter 8 and an Ocean Full of Sads–>

10/20/14
We open this next installment with my morbid answer, which you’ve all “urn-ed” *groan*

Future Narcissist here.  So I was doing this thing where I’d have a question at the end of some of my editing notes posts.  This was prior to my Question of the Week, and I suppose it was me attempting to create conversation or what I thought might create conversation even before I posted these.   I removed the question from the previous post, but I suppose I should’ve kept it so that what’s going on now makes sense.  It was “What do you want on your gravestone or urn?”  I’m planning on having it as a QOTW at some point probably in October.  I couldn’t remove my answer since it sparked quite a rant and one of my favorites/saddest actually…

I have no intention of being buried.  Rotting in a coffin is not the way I’d like to spend eternity.  I never want the answer to the question, “What’s in the box???!!!!!” to ever be “Adrienne.”  Advent Children: the movie where the answer to the question “What’s in the box????!!!!” is “Your mom.”  Hahahaha *cries*

Yeah…so I used to use gallows humor as a shield really hardcore.  This is barely scratching the surface of the fucked up things I used to say.  Then I realized it was just a cover and a flimsy one at that.  I accepted that things still bother me and always will.  I still love dry, sardonic humor though.  Hopefully, you can tell that if you’ve read Northern Lights.

This make me think of another dead mom story (god I’m crass…) that I swear I already told you guys before.  It was back when I was a caseworker nearly seven years ago (did not make that up).  I worked with foster kids and was only there for nine month because I could not handle that shit.  I brought it home with me every night and had several nervous breakdowns because of it.  There were many, many straws, but one of the most fucked up ones came about after one of my clients died.  She had five children, all daughters, and her oldest was on my caseload.  My supervisor thought that because I also had a dead mother that I would be a great person to deal with this situation by going to both the viewing and the funeral over the course of two fucking days. 

Continue reading →

The State of the Reader: 9/28/16

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 18 Comments

<–The State of the Reader: 9/21/16          The State of the Reader: 10/5/16–>

A weekly post updated every Wednesday detailing my current reading projects and where I am with them in addition to what new titles I’ve added to my to-read list.  Title links go to Goodreads to make it easier for interested parties to add any books that might strike their fancy.  I attempt to use the covers for the edition I’m reading, and I’ll mention if this is not the case.  If you have a Goodreads account feel free to friend me!  I’d love to see what you’re reading and/or planning to read.

Books Finished This Week: 1

Title: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Series Title: Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children
Author: Ransom Riggs
Date Added: May 11, 2016
Date Started: August 24, 2016
Date Finished: September 25, 2016

I highly enjoyed this book, intend to read the next one in the series (which I talk about below), and just posted my review for it here.

Books Currently Reading: 3

Title: The Mabinogion Tetralogy
Author: Evangeline Walton
Date Added: August 24, 2014
Date Started: July 31, 2016

Medium: Paperback
Progress: 17%

Ugh there was pretty serious animal abuse displayed in the chapter I’m on with gruesome details.  I’m not a horse person, but I’m adamantly against animal abuse of any form, and I do think they’re beautiful creatures.  I hope the perpetrator receives a righteous comeuppance.

Title: The World of Ice and Fire: The Untold History of Westeros and the Game of Thrones
Author: George R R Martin
Date Added: January 7, 2015
Date Started: February 8, 2015

Media: Hardback
Progress: 68%

I’m chugging through this book one (large) page at a time.  I’m currently about to read about the Stormlands, which is where Robert Baratheon’s ancestors hail from: the Storm King and his court.  I’m impressed by how much like a history this collection is, but you still have to read between the lines, because only one side tends to write the history books, and when that one side is anti-magic, you have to be even more wary.

Title: Khalarea the Fallen
Series Title: Tales of Yagath
Author: Claus Augustus Corbett
Date Added: April 3, 2016
Date Started: September 19, 2016

Media: Kindle
Progress: 41%

Okay we need to talk about this book.  We need to talk about this book.  I emailed my friend who runs The Ink Garden about it, because my VII Sense went through the freaking roof.  It was so high it could’ve fallen to earth like a meteor *hides from the bad pun…and the meteor*  I’ll cease being ridiculous and explain.

The first thing I noticed was a character with glowing blue/green eyes, and they appear to be of a special breed.  Okay…that’s pretty common in fantasy/sci-fi.  Not a huge similarity.  I should also probably explain a little bit about the story itself.  It’s is a bit of a meta story.  Astir, a wandering bard, was sent to find out about the legend of Khalarea the Fallen.  She finally finds some information and is relating it to Lokart (the individual with the glowing eyes).  He and Astir talk about “destroying spirits consciousness in such a manner they can’t put themselves together again,” but it’s “impossible to destroy consciousness” as “it would simply rearrange itself” unless you break it down to separate parts and trap them away from each other.  Um…okay again.  Now I’m definitely thinking about VII’s reunion, but the next page made me put down my phone and walk away.  I’ll just quote verbatim.

“…it describes Khalarea as a human who tried to surpass what the authors call the one true god and went mad.”

“When a spirit – or a person, for that matter – is too far consumed by pain, fear, anger, or emotions of this sort, they lose touch with themselves.  They literally go mad, which then them into a process of self-corruption, usually ending only when that spirit is destroyed beyond recognition and only its essence remains.  With people, that might be physical death, or sometimes it takes more than death to cure it.”

Um…so Khalarea is similar to an all too familiar and talked about favorite fallen angel, and my suspicions that the author may have borrowed from this paradigm deepened when his Goodread’s profile stated he is an “avid consumer of fantasy media – books, games, tv series, movies… – and long-time RPG player, he has now decided to take it to the next level and start sharing the stories of Yagath, a world that was originally idealized for his RPG adventures.”

This actually makes me very happy, because it means I’m not the only one that takes inspiration from video games/RPGs, though I obviously knew that.  Stranger Things heavily uses D&D…not to mention aspects from a potential government cover up on human experimentation.

Fanfictions Finished: 0

In Progress Fanfictions Read: 0

Fanfictions Currently Reading: 0

Fanfictions Added to TBR List: 0

Last week I’d added a few fanfictions to my TBR list; however, they were either not my style/ship or didn’t hold my attention so I’m back down to none.

Books Added to Goodreads To Read List This Week: 4

Title: Hollow City
Series Title: Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children
Author: Ransom Riggs
Date Added: September 25, 2016

I added this book on the very day I finished the first.  I want to know what happens next so I may be picking it up from the bookstore this week.

Title: Locke and Key: Welcome to Lovecraft
Series Title: Locke and Key
Author: Joe Hill
Artist: Gabriel Rodriguez
Date Added: September 28, 2016

I only have a few comics on my TBR list and probably less to my credit as read.  My husband bought me a My Little Pony comic two and a years ago for my birthday, and I’ve yet to crack it open.  I will…I just haven’t yet.  Maybe I should put it on my TBR list…

Anyway, freaking Cupcakes and Machetes posted about this and the comic below, and I’m a sucker for Lovecraft (even though I’ve only read In the Mountains of Madness and even though he’s a HUGE racist), so I couldn’t resist.  The book is about a New England mansion with fantastic doors of transformation.  It sounds suitably spooky for the Halloween season aka best time of the year.

Title: Saga, Volume I
Series Title: Saga Collected Editions
Author: Brian K. Vaughan
Artist: Fiona Staples
Date Added: September 28, 2016

This one got me because it’s a wedding of sci-fi to fantasy, which is the genre of my favorite story FFVII.  I had no idea I’d love the fusion of them as much as I do; therefore, when I find any other narrative that claims to do so, it immediately draws my interest.

Two soldiers on the opposite ends of a never ending galactic war fall in love, and from the cover, it looks like they do indeed have a child.  There also seems to be some cross species and other diversity delved into, so I’m willing to give this a chance.

Title: The Rescuers
Series Title: The Rescuers
Author: Margery Sharp
Date Added: September 28, 2016

I had a feeling the Disney movie was based on a book (most Disney movies are based on something else), especially since I’ve read others of the same ilk such as Bambi and The Fox and the Hound (FYI neither of these books is nearly as cuddly as the Disney movies.  Be warned).

This Rescuers seems to have a different plot from either of the films.  The mice do perform rescue bids, but its for human prisoners in their cells and not endangered children.  Maybe Disney didn’t want their cuddly critters aiding and abetting criminals.

Books Added to Goodreads To Reread List This Week: 1

Title: Bambi
Series Title: Bambi
Author: Felix Salten
Date Added: September 28, 2016

Yep, talking about it above made me add it to my To-Reread list.  I didn’t even have it on my Read list, because I’d forgotten to do so.  I loved this book, liking it better than the movie, which I don’t abhor, but I’m much more into the true origin of things, and I prefer darker stories.  While the Disney film does capture some aspects of that, it’s nowhere near as vicious, and I’m saying that about a kids movie where the main character’s mother is shot.

The film does boast an amazing musical piece in “Looking for Romance (I Bring You a Song).”

There’s something mystical and haunting about this melody, a timelessness that transcends the ages and certainly the bonds of children’s animation, but it’s not remotely vulgar.

Books Purchased This Week: 0

I need to pick another general fiction/fantasy to read since I finished Miss Peregrine this week, but I’m not quite sure what the next book will be.  I’m reliant on my own bookshelf this week, since I have plenty of physical volumes to choose from.  I’ll have something by next week to speak of never fear!

What are you currently reading and/or what’s on your radar to read next?  What would you recommend based on my current and recently added?  As always I look forward to your comments and suggestions!

<–The State of the Reader: 9/21/16          The State of the Reader: 10/5/16–>

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Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs (Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children #1)

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 11 Comments

Title: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Series Title: Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children
Author: Ransom Riggs
Genre: YA, Fantasy
Date Added: May 11, 2016
Date Started: August 24, 2016
Date Finished: September 25, 2016

Pages: 428
Publication Date: January 14, 2014
Media Type: Paperback

A mysterious island. An abandoned orphanage. A strange collection of curious photographs.

A horrific family tragedy sets sixteen-year-old Jacob journeying to a remote island off the coast of Wales, where he discovers the crumbling ruins of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. As Jacob explores its abandoned bedrooms and hallways, it becomes clear that the children were more than just peculiar. They may have been dangerous. They may have been quarantined on a deserted island for good reason. And somehow—impossible though it seems—they may still be alive.

A spine-tingling fantasy illustrated with haunting vintage photography, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children will delight adults, teens, and anyone who relishes an adventure in the shadows.

The instant I picked this novel up in the bookstore, I required it.  The mystery of it tingled along the cover promising a grand read to come.  While I didn’t say so above, there is a horror element to the story, though I doubt anyone would ever officially categorize it as so.  I was unsettled by many aspects, and this feeling was augmented by the photographs contained therein, photographs the author obtained (legally) from unknown sources, and as he didn’t know their origin, decided to weave threads of story between them.  This was a nice touch even as though it gave some false impressions that the chapter was coming to an end.

To give too much away would be to ruin the narrative.  It follows Jacob Portman, a young man who witnesses a terrible tragedy that completely changes his life.  This event is the impetus for his adventures in a Welsh orphanage where his grandfather supposedly grew up. What he finds there defies belief, and yet he, too, is a part of it in a way that may have been kept hidden for Jacob’s own good.

There are some critiques that the peculiarity of the children is similar to that of the X-Men, and the special house set up for them does nothing to topple that observation, nor does its special “teacher.”  However, this is no way diminishes the narrative since children with special powers is a fairly common trope (Eleven anyone?).

The children themselves were a bit difficult to keep track of, and I constantly forgot what name went with which power.  Barring a few, there could’ve been more character development on their end to make differentiation a bit easier.  Only Jacob and a few others receive the benefit of a discernible personality, but the novel’s many other attributes make up for this.

Like many other YA novels, this one comes equipped with two more books to make a trilogy.  I’ve already added Hollow City to my reading list, which picks up right where Miss Peregrine leaves off.

The prose isn’t your typical fare for YA in the least.  There’s a lyrical flow to it, which not only enticed me to purchase the book, but kept me reading into the night where the shadows presented by the stories could grow quite long.

4 stars.

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The State of the Gamer: 9/27/16

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 12 Comments

<–The State of the Gamer: 9/20/16          The State of the Gamer: 10/4/16–>

A weekly post updated every Tuesday detailing my current gaming projects.  I have quite a backlog of games to either play or watch, and I’m hoping a weekly article will assist with my progress as my other accountable posts have done with reading and writing.
I have an account at Grouvee, which is a essentially Goodreads for gamers, so please feel free to friend me there!
Original source of the banner art is located here.

Games Finished Playing This Week: 0

Game Currently Playing

Title: Final Fantasy IV
Series: Final Fantasy
Genre: RPG – Fantasy
Developer: Square
Original Platform: SNES
Original Release Date: July 19, 1991
Date Started: Unknown

final-fantasy-iv

I attempted to beat the Zeromus, final boss this past week, and he mopped the floor with me.

Alas poor characters

Alas poor characters

I held my own for about ten minutes or so (a half an hour if you count the time it took me to steal the Dark Matter from Zemus before his transformation), but in the end I went down like a sack of wet potatoes.  I’m not too upset about it, as the GameFAQs guide I was using warned me this might happen, and in case of such to just level up a bit more.  Kain is quite a a bit below the recommended level of 75 or so.  In fact, these are are my current levels:

Rydia – 62
Cecil – 66
Kain – 70
Edge – 59
Rosa – 59

Kain should have been around level 73 when I got him back the last time, but he was only in the mid sixties.

My plan is to grind on the crystal levels for a while before challenging Zemus/Zeromus again since this section contains boss level enemies, and I have a save point not far away.  Hopefully, next week I’ll be able to inform you of my victory and begin to write my review/analysis of this wonderful game.

Games Finished Watching This Week: 1

Title: The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Series: The Legend of Zelda
Genre: Action/Adventure/Puzzle – Fantasy
Developer: Nintendo
Original Platform: Nintendo DS
Original Release Date: December 7, 2009
Let’s Player: Olizandri
Date Started: Unknown

legend-of-zelda-the-spirit-tracks

I finished watching this lovely Let’s Play last night, and I can’t wait to find another of Olizandri’s to dive into.  Since I’m not playing the game myself, it wouldn’t appropriate to give a legitimate review, but I can say from the viewing that this Zelda iteration does a great job of using the system’s mechanics to its advantage. I also liked that Zelda herself was not just a kidnapped or sleeping princess waiting for rescue, but rather an integral part of the plot.

The game (literally) had a lot of moving parts with the train mechanics, but also the pipe organ.  Zelda loves its instruments, and who can blame them when they have a master composer like Koji Kondi to write for them.

Game Currently Watching

Since I jut finished Spirit Tracks, I’m now in between Let’s Plays.  I’m considering Mass Effect, Soul Blazer, or The 7th Saga.   I’d love to find a good Assassin’s Creed LP at some point as well as a God of War.  I mostly watch older games with Zelda being my top favorites to view, nor am I averse to watching an LP of a game I’ve played/completed myself such as Child of Light and even the one I’m currently playing Final Fantasy IV.  

What are you currently playing and/or watching? Is it something new or old?  Is it a first time run or a replay?  What’s the genre?  Would you recommend it?  What’s on your radar to play next?

I look forward to your comments!

<–The State of the Gamer: 9/20/16          The State of the Gamer: 10/4/16–>

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Question of the Week: 9/25/16

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 35 Comments

<–Question of the Week: 9/18/16          Question of the Week: 10/2/16–.>

The Question of the Week is posted every Sunday and will consist of a question followed by my answer and explanation to the same.  Some questions will only require a simple answer that could potentially be followed by an explanation.  Many questions will be writer oriented, but not all.  Everyone is encouraged to answer in the comments and discussions/follow up questions are more than welcome!

What’s your favorite type of pie?

I had the “What’s your favorite type of cake?” question back in July, and I just recently had ice cream cake since last Friday was a coworkers last day, and my job is keen on having good send offs.  Not everyone likes traditional cake (case in point the now former coworker in question), which is why why went with ice cream.  Pie is more associated with autumn whose equinox has just passed so I thought this an appropriate question.

My favorite type is simple “all American” apple, quotes because apple pie actually predates America despite the popular saying.

Yassss. Get in my mouth.

Yassss. Get in my mouth.

I’m especially partial to the crumble variety, but there’s a French version called tarte aux pommes that I’d love to try one day.

Look at this beautiful thing.

Look at this beautiful thing.

Unfortunately, my preliminary search only locates recipes in French, but I’m sure if I’d be able to find one or an adequate translation of the same.

I also enjoy cherry, peach, lemon (not so much meringue), and other fruit pies.  I didn’t have pumpkin pie until I was well into my twenties, but grew up eating my grandmother’s sweet potato pie, though I’ve never been overly fond of that either.  Pumpkin pie is a less sweet version of sweet potato to my taste buds, and to be honest, neither one is my favorite.  I much prefer fruit pies, and apple is at the top of my list.

What’s your favorite type of pie?  Is it a fruit pie or more savory?  Do you prefer non-dessert pies e.g. chicken pot or mincemeat?

I look forward to your answers in the comments!

<–Question of the Week: 9/18/16          Question of the Week: 10/2/16–.>

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The State of the Writer: 9/24/16

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 29 Comments

<–The State of the Writer: 9/17/16          The State of the Writer: 10/1/16–>

A weekly post updated every Saturday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 278,692
Prior Word Count: 278,963
Word Difference: -271
Status: Editing
Progress: 1st Edit of Chapter 5

dream-closet

I really wanted to show the picture I found for Chapter 5’s cover and the subsequent macro I made for it, but I’m still waiting to hear back from the artist on whether it’s okay for me to use it at all.  She has been active on Deviant Art lately so I’m hoping she’ll respond to my message soon.  She’s from Russia; however, I saw her replies were in English.  There’s been a few times where artists are either not active or they don’t have any English on their pages on in their comments.  With the latter I don’t assume they don’t speak the language, but I also don’t assume they do.  I’m not fully fluent in anything other than my native tongue (I’m passable in French), so bilingual speakers or polyglots are high up on my impressed list.

Chapter 5 is what I call a “letter chapter.”  I believe I’ve mentioned this before, but letter chapters are exactly what they say on the tine.  They’re letters that Aeris writes to herself in an effort to reclaim her identity.  Their titles were also almost the name of the entire work.  Before I settled (and it’s still potentially up in the air) on The Broken Rose, I was calling this story Dear Aeris, and it was a an homage to the game Dear Esther, which I absolutely love.  I’m currently embroiled in a wonderful discourse in the comment section of Cheap Boss Attack’s post about it and other weekend gaming activities.  It’s a situation I relish, because no one else I know has played it, and I haven’t had a chance to review it, so there’s been a dearth of opportunities for me to talk about it.  It’s easily in my top ten favorite games so for a while Dear Aeris was the title I went with, but this was in the preliminary stages of writing where I thought there’d be more letters.  Currently there are only two, and the third and final one for the epilogue was scrapped since epilogues (and prologues) are considered extraneous unless absolutely necessary.  The Broken Rose captures the essence of the story more, too, because despite being broken, she’s still a rose, and that’s worth more than any damage or abuse.

The picture (far) above is supposed to give an idea of her closet, and yes, I’m QUITE jealous of such closet space.  I could probably live quite comfortably in such a room.  I wanted her closet to be walk in, and while the above image doesn’t quite capture what’s in my head, it’s still a nice picture to spur the mental image along.  There is definitely a chandelier.  I really do love those.

I did manage to find and make a picture for (the new) Chapter 4, which I never really got to talk about since I did indeed manage to complete a first and second edit on Saturday and Sunday respectively last week.

I used this picture before in my “Full of Grace” slideshow, and it seems to capture the feel of helplessness well, but even within in that there’s a glimmer of hope in the light she’s bathed in. Initially, I felt like I was settling for this image, but the more I looked at it and thought about it from the fore mentioned angle, but more satisfied I was.

Chapter 5 is the point I decided I needed to reach before I started posting this.  I’ve been considering waiting until Chapter 6 since I added a chapter in, and there may be some tweaking between Chapter 5 and Chapter 3, but I’ll attempt to keep my promise.

Quote: I’m trying so hard not to cry and mess up this pretty letter.  It’s fancy paper, cream colored and smooth, and the pen just glides along.   The closet I have goes on forever with all the clothes there are.  It’s more like a room, even bigger than a shack in the depths of the slums.  There are more clothes than I could ever wear in a month or even a year.  They arrived in boxes brought by men, and I cowered upstairs in my room.  My master was speaking with them at the door, and I thought he’d finally sell me.  I know that he’s rich, but I make him no money, and he lets me eat every day.  Then that low voice called my name and I curled into a ball.  Hiding on the far side of the bed with my knees pulled up to my chest.  I was wearing one of his black shirts and it smelled so good like him.  It was strangely comforting even though I was scared of being sold to other men.  My master called my name again, and fear choked me.  I hadn’t answered! 

“Y-Yes, great master?” I said very soft, but his hearing’s perfect like him so he heard.

“Come here and see.  Oh yes, you can’t stand.  May I pick you up?”

Project: Story
Title: The Threads of Sorrow
Genre: Paranormal Romance/Retold Fairy Tale
Type: Original Short Story
Prior Word Count: 6787
Current Word Count: 6787
Word Difference: 0
Status: Critiques received
Progress: Need to review critiques

Can we say no progress?  Yeah, no progress.  I’ve done nothing with this story.  It’s been a rough few weeks for a variety of reasons, and I’m finding it hard to churn up the heart to work on anything that will be subject for a “gatekeeper’s” approval before it’s deemed worthy.  I’ll get back to it eventually, but I just can’t do it right now.  Even looking at gentle critiques is hard.  I’ve been really stressed with health nonsense getting worse, and I spend too much time on Facebook (which I’m sure you all know is a political shit show), and that’s stressful, too.  I really should limit my time there, but it really is addictive.  Anyway, I hope to get back to this soon.  I really do love this story, and I want to find someone willing to publish it (again).

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Status: Outline/Planning

I haven’t worked on this either, even though it’s one of my “vacation” essays I should’ve tackled during that time.  I sat down to write one day, and there were too many things going on in my head I wanted to talk about to even begin so I figured I’d work on an outline.  That’s still the plan, but I haven’t gotten to it.  Last week was probably the most unproductive week of my life.  I’m going to try to work on the outline today.  If I can get that squared away, I’ll feel more confident about writing since I’ll have a cohesive plan.

The essay idea came about while I was working on The Seventh Is the Darkest or rather I decided to separate this part out.  There are numerous similarities between the narrative of VII and a Greek tragedy, and I knew I’d need another examination to sort that out.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 9/17/16          The State of the Writer: 10/1/16–>

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Final Fantasy Friday: Final Fantasy Tarot – V The Hierophant

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 15 Comments

<–IV The Emperor                                                                                VI The Lovers–>

This is my current Final Fantasy Friday post where I’ll be discussing which characters I think exemplify each card of the Major Arcana.  If this is your first time here, please head over to my Final Fantasy Tarot page for explanation.  Now onto the next card!

V The Hierophant

the-hierophant-seymour

Seymour from Final Fantasy X was my original pick for this card, but I wavered quite a bit before my choice as there’s an alternate who’s just as good that I’ll discuss below.

The Hierophant is also known as The High Priest or even The Pope.  Seymour is essentially a high priest as a maester of Yevon.  He is (according the linked wiki) “the Minister of Temple Affairs, which maintains the temples’ rituals and teachings and oversees the summoners. This position allows one the authority to handle records of the sealed histories.”  He’s also a half human, half Guado hybrid, the latter race being responsible for Spira”s afterlife.  The Hierophant serves as the builder of the bridge between deity and humanity, thus a true “pontiff.”

Even though Seymour is obviously an antagonist, like many a Final Fantasy villain he has a tragic backstory involving his mother (god they really love that paradigm), nor does this status dismiss the fact that he was essentially a high priest of the faith.  Given our knowledge of corruption in religious institutions (which FFX wholly seeks to point out), the villainous aspect of his nature do not detract from him representing this card.

Alternates: Sephiroth (VII)

I very nearly picked my favorite fallen angel for a variety of reasons.  He, too, is a bridge between humanity and “deity” as a human-alien hybrid of sorts.  I wouldn’t say he’s half and half as both of his parents are human (though his father’s “humanity” is highly debatable for moral reasons…), but since he was infused with Jenova’s cells while in utero, that aspect of his makeup must be taken into account.  He also became its “messenger” in a way and then pretty much merged with it, a motif we see repeated in X with a summoner’s guardian becoming the new Sin.

Sephiroth would also be a counterpart to Aeris as The High Priestess, and the two pillars The Hierophant sits between was almost a tipping point especially when you consider they’re related to the Tree of Life, which is made up of the Holy Sephiroth.

Also, like the Hierophant, he loves holding up his right hand.

sephiroth-holding-up-right-hand

But Sephiroth is meant for another card.  Now I’ve given you a clue.  Use it wisely.

Seifer (VIII), Golbez (IV) – Both due to the “bridge between humanity and deity” description.  Seifer is obviously fully human, but his stint as the Sorceress’s Knight was considered.  Golbez is *spoiler* half-human, half-Lunarian and was under the thrall of Zemus for the majority of the game, a being seething deep in the Lunar core, so we have that hybrid doing a “higher” being’s work paradigm going on with him. *end spoiler.*

Nobody technically won this time; however, Mr. Panda did guess Sephiroth, and I was super close to picking him and would have if he wasn’t planned for a later card.

Next week is VI The Lovers, which will be the most solid if initially dichotomous canon ship, and one of my favorite ones at that!  Happy guessing 🙂

<–IV The Emperor                                                                                VI The Lovers–>

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The State of the Reader: 9/21/16

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 17 Comments

<–The State of the Reader: 9/14/16          The State of the Reader: 9/28/16–.

A weekly post updated every Wednesday detailing my current reading projects and where I am with them in addition to what new titles I’ve added to my to-read list.  Title links go to Goodreads to make it easier for interested parties to add any books that might strike their fancy.  I attempt to use the covers for the edition I’m reading, and I’ll mention if this is not the case.  If you have a Goodreads account feel free to friend me!  I’d love to see what you’re reading and/or planning to read.

Books Finished This Week: 1

Title: Sigil
Author: Aidan J. Reid
Date Added: June 9, 2016
Date Started: August 23, 2016
Date Finished: September 16, 2016

This is tough.  As you all know I usually review books on Goodreads and Amazon after I finish them. I want to do that with this one, but I had some major issues with it, and this is an indie author who could be really hurt by a bad review.  I know how tough the publishing world is since, well, I’m not even in it due to failure/rejection, and I don’t want to bring anyone else down, BUT I always want to give honest reviews.  If I can figure out a way to do this tactfully, I’ll definitely write one up.

For now I’ll tell you that I gave this book 3 stars on Goodreads.  I think it’s a great portrayal of how small towns can hide huge secrets.  The main character is very likeable and admirable, and the book is $0.99 and fast paced.

Books Currently Reading: 4
Change from Last Week: +1

Title: The Mabinogion Tetralogy
Author: Evangeline Walton
Date Added: August 24, 2014
Date Started: July 31, 2016

Medium: Paperback
Progress: 16%

I am well entrenched on the second branch of this book.  It’s a little bit more complex what with matrilineal kingship.  The first book was about the New Tribes that were more patriarchal whereas the Old Tribes follow a matriarchal line. There is a character named Bran though, which is something Martin borrowed from in his Song saga so I’m excited.

Title: Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children
Series Title: Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children
Author: Ransom Riggs
Date Added: May 11, 2016
Date Started: August 24, 2016

Medium: Paperback
Progress: 81%

I’m really hoping this book doesn’t let me down with the ending.  I can see the direction it may be leading me into, and I’m hoping the author is clever enough to pull a bait and switch.  So far Mr. Riggs hasn’t let me down.

Title: The World of Ice and Fire: The Untold History of Westeros and the Game of Thrones
Author: George R R Martin
Date Added: January 7, 2015
Date Started: February 8, 2015

Media: Hardback
Progress: 66%

Though this book is a new addition to this week, I was reading it before.  I took a hiatus, but picked it back up when I (finally) finished my last reference The Mystical Qabalah.  This compendium is the history of Westeros from GRRM’s A Song of Ice and Fire, my favorite (written) fantasy series and my second favorite story of all time.  If you’re a Song fan and you want to know more about the world of Westeros (and Essos and Sothoryos…collectively called Planetos in fan head canons), I highly recommend it.

I’m currently on the section about the Tyrells and before that Old Town, which was a bit chilling as the maester “writing” it mentions that ubiquitous black stone found all over the world.  There’s something very eerie about that black stone not the least of which is its connections with Lovecraftian horror.

TWOIAF only has around 330 pages, but it’s a large book nonetheless.

Title: Khalarea the Fallen
Series Title: Tales of Yagath
Author: Claus Augustus Corbett
Date Added: April 3, 2016
Date Started: September 19, 2016

Media: Kindle
Progress: 12%

I’m trying to remember who recommended this book to me, and I’m failing miserably.  It’s not on my “Blogger Recommendations” shelf, but someone I was talking to mentioned this author because they were willing to risk less sales in order to put a content warning on their work.  Dammit…I think it was someone on WP, but this was before I kept track of who recommended what.

Another draw was how the “Tales of Yagath” sound a bit Lovecraftian to me, too.  Yagath reminds me of shoggoth, but that could also just because I’m weird.  They both end with -th.  I really don’t know.  There is a trope about that though under Names to Run Away From (yes “Sephiroth” is there.  I can’t talk about sinister names that end in -th without mentioning my favorite fallen angel), and Lovecraft, er, loved using it.

This story is about a wandering bard looking for to recount what she knows of the Legend of Khalarea to her friend, but there may be even darker truths to reveal.  This is another book written by an indie author.  I’m trying to keep up my reading with one of those on my Kindle as I go along.  So far it’s a little muddled with tons of character and place names, but I’m hoping things will fall into place soon.  It’s not very long so I don’t envision me taking much more than a week to finish.

Fanfictions Finished: 0

In Progress Fanfictions Read: 0

Fanfictions Currently Reading: 0

Fanfictions Added to TBR List: 1

Title: Children of Light and Darkness
Author: Chibi Neko
Fandom: Vampire Hunter D
Pairing: N/A

Holy shit.  I’m reading a fanfiction that’s not only not Aeriseph but also not even Final Fantasy VII.  What the hell is going on?  Well first off I added this today after checking my email.  Chibi Neko, the author, had added my Northern Lights to their Favorite Stories list.  Whenever that occurs I always check out the person’s profile to see if they write my fandom and to see what other stories/authors they have as their favorite so I can potentially add more stories to my TBR list.  I didn’t find any fics that way, but I noticed the author has one story to their credit about Vampire Hunter D.

This is D. Yes, he's very beautiful.

This is D. Yes, he’s very beautiful.

I gave the prologue a read, and it’s interesting enough for me to delve into.  Plus pretty goth boys are my specialty whether they have black or silver hair.  There doesn’t seem to be a pairing marked in the story info, but it is designated a drama/romance.

Fanfiction.net doesn’t have a place for content warnings, and the author didn’t put any near the beginning, but if you decide to check the fic out, there’s rape/sexual assault in the prologue (not done by D, ugh, god no).  I’ll never forgot the one story I read by one of my favorite fanfiction authors where she shocked me with it.  It was absolutely harrowing, and I’m not typically triggered by rape/assault, but that particular story bothered me and still does today when I think about it 😦

Anyway, I think I’ll enjoy this.  Though FFVII is my favorite and really the only fanfic I read, there’s no harm branching out.

Books Added to Goodreads To Read List This Week: 8

Title: The Knife of Never Letting Go
Series Title: Chaos Walking
Author: Patrick Ness
Date Added: September 16, 2016

I have to thank the lovely Writing Hufflepuff for this addition, and for giving me another tag post to do (one day lol).  This series was ranked as the most amazing book that defies all other descriptions.  Of course I had to check it out, and the blurb instantly hooked me.  Silence in a world of endless thoughts, and a heart-stopping revelation.  I must know more.

Title: Crane
Series Title: The Legends Saga
Author: Stacey Rourke
Date Added: September 16, 2016

A terse and explosive review from Cupcake and Machetes made me add this one with the added bonus that the book is free on Kindle.  I love reworked fairy tales and folk legends, and this is an add just in time for Halloween.  Not that I’m going to even start it by then (it’s highly doubtful), but I can always load up my TBR list with spooky scribblings for scary soirees.

Title: A Tale of Two Airships
Series Title: Take to the Skies
Author: Katherine McIntyre
Date Added: September 16, 2016

I already owned this book, but hadn’t added it to my TBR list for some reason.  It’s the sequel to my friend and fellow writer’s novel An Airship Named Desire.  I still need to read the first Airship, which is conveniently on my Kindle.

Title: The Forgetting
Author: Sharon Cameron
Date Added: September 16, 2016

I was immediately interested when the first line of the blurb stated that the MC lived in the land of Canaan, which is often equated with the Promised Land so VII Sense tingling even though I know it’s just a shared reference.  I still like it. Then the “forgetting” thing happened.  Every 12 years all memories are forgotten and lost forever unless they’re written down.  Memory is a huge thing for me in stories (it also tingles my VII sense for various reasons, too), and only the main character Nadia retains hers in this strange land.  As the time of forgetting approaches, she has to stop an unseen enemy with an ally who will forget her if they don’t do it before that time comes.

Title: Wicked as They Come
Series Title: Blud
Author: Delilah S. Dawson
Date Added: September 17, 2016

I haven’t read a sexy vampire story since I was into Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake series before she went totally porno, and prior to that it was Anne Rice.  I don’t like Twilight for reasons beyond the writing style, and though I did enjoy Elizabeth Hunter’s Elemental Mysteries series, I haven’t had a chance to get back to it.

I have Cupcakes and Machetes to blame again for this addition.  Her review of it was all I really needed.  Not only is it about a sexy vampire, it also features another hidden world.  Those are kind of my favorite as I’ve been trying to get off this planet fervently for the past few years.  Also, the vampires aren’t the bad guys (so it would seem), and in fact may soon be the victims of genocide!  I love tales that mix up paradigms.

Title: The Wonder
Author: Emma Donoghue
Date Added: September 19, 2016

This addition came from a fantastic review of By Hook or By Book.  Emma Donoghue is also the author of Room.  I’ve neither read this nor seen the movie, but I hear nothing but wonderful things about the prior mentioned and the author. This particular novel is about a girl who supposedly subsists on “manna from heaven.”  The phenomenon is not that uncommon dating back to Victorian times; however, it may be the precursor to what we know now of as anorexia.  I’m both fascinated by the possibility in the story itself and the sad origin.

Title: Halfway to the Grave
Series Title: Night Huntress
Author: Jeaniene Frost
Date Added: September 19, 2016

I can’t even really put a link since this was recommended to me in a comment by Cupcakes and Machetes.  It has a vampire bounty hunter (as in a bounty hunter who’s a vampire a la D from Vampire Hunter D), and I just can’t say no to a hot vampire dude.

Note: Hilariously, I added this prior to finding the Vampire Hunter D fanfiction above.  This is clearly a vampire week.

Title: The Complete Sherlock Holmes
Author: Arthur Conan Doyle
Date Added: September 20, 2016

I really can’t believe I didn’t already have this on my TBR list for classics.  I was scrolling through my Goodreads newsfeed, and someone had added The Sign of Fours, which made me check to see if I had Doyle’s famous detective on my reading list.  I thought I had it there and on my Kindle, but I was wrong on both accounts.  Well both wrongs have now been righted.  I purchased the complete works for a paltry $0.99.  I’m not sure what my next classic reading will be, but I’ll be sure to fit Sherlock in at some point.

Side note.  I sincerely doubt I’ll be able to read this without thinking of Benedict Cumberbatch’s beautiful rendition of Sherlock *swoon*

sherlock

Books Added to Goodreads To Reread List This Week: 0

Books Purchased This Week: 2

Title: Solid Ground
Author: Katherine McIntyre
Date Purchased: September 16, 2016

I actually read this prior to its release (I was a beta reader), but hadn’t purchased it yet, which I did today.  It’s a quick read at only 26 pages about best friends in love and the distant between stars that could divide them.

Title: Crane
Series Title: The Legends Saga
Author: Stacey Rourke
Date Purchased: September 16, 2016

As fore mentioned it was free on Kindle so I guess I didn’t purchase it per se, but it is now in my possession.

What are you currently reading and/or what’s on your radar to read next?  What would you recommend based on my current and recently added?  As always I look forward to your comments and suggestions!

<–The State of the Reader: 9/14/16          The State of the Reader: 9/28/16–.

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The State of the Gamer: 9/20/16

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 11 Comments

The State of the Gamer: 9/27/16–>

A weekly post updated every Tuesday detailing my current gaming projects.  I have quite a backlog of games to either play or watch, and I’m hoping a weekly article will assist with my progress as my other accountable posts have done with reading and writing.
I have an account at Grouvee, which is a essentially Goodreads for gamers, so please feel free to friend me there!
Original source of the banner art is located here.

I’ve been thinking about doing a State of the Gamer weekly post for a while, but it was the latest article from my friend Lightning Night Nova over at her blog Conquering the Gaming Backlog that made me take action (I also have to give credit to Cheap Boss Attack.  His weekend gaming posts certainly gave me some impetus for this, too!).  At the end of her post, she discusses her game progress, and it solidified for me how much my other State posts have helped me make significant progress on various projects.  I have quite a gaming backlog myself, and I feel it’s the most neglected of my projects.  I do attempt to play on the weekends, but writing and reading take up most of my time.  In doing a weekly post, I’ll be held more accountable, and this will hopefully push me to making some progress with my gaming.

Games Finished Playing This Week: 0

Game Currently Playing

Title: Final Fantasy IV
Series: Final Fantasy
Genre: RPG – Fantasy
Developer: Square
Original Platform: SNES
Original Release Date: July 19, 1991
Date Started: Unknown

final-fantasy-iv

I’ve stated before I’ve undertaken my Great Final Fantasy Play/Replay Project where I intend to play all of them (up a particular point), after each writing up a review/analysis.  I’m currently on Final Fantasy IV, and not only that, I’m currently near the end of FFIV.  It’s only been over a year…but I am finally in the Lunar Core on my way to the final showdown.

lunar-core

I’m playing the original version of the game as made for the PS, and I’m playing it on a PS2.  It’s a bit confusing when you have these older games that have been reformatted for later systems, but still in their original versions.  I have played the PSP version, but not the DS one.  As I did with the earlier Final Fantasies I think I’m going to go through all of the original numbered ones first before going back to play other iterations.

I have currently defeated Plague (or Plague Horror.  Also known as Ahriman in the PSP version) followed by the two Lunasauruses in the Lunar Core to obtain Kain’s Holy Lance and two ribbons for Rosa and Rydia respectively.

plague

Plague is annoying because he casts Death on all of your characters at once, which starts a countdown to the inevitable, and I’m not fond of the strategy given in the GameFAQs guide I used though it has been mostly invaluable.  Apparently, if you just keep hitting “A,” your characters won’t die.  This wouldn’t work for me, so I thought of a better tactic.  You go into battle with one of your characters already fallen and have Rosa revive them using Life 2.  Once they’re revived, Plague will cast Death again on everyone, which restarts the timer.  You can just have Rosa revive characters as they fall, and Plague will dutifully recast Death and reset the death clock.  Your other characters can attack and send him to his much deserved demise.

lunasauruses

I kind of fudged the Lunasaurus (x 2) fight, but still managed to succeed.  According to the guide, you’re supposed to cast Wall (Reflect) on three characters.  That way when they cast Bad Breath, it bounces off and renders them helpless with the status affects meant for your.  Since Rosa is one of my slowest characters I only managed to cast Wall on her so only one Lunasaurus was affected.  If I’d gotten just one more spell off, I’m assuming it would’ve hit them both.  Either way, I still kicked ass.

Finally, I won the Ragnarok sword for Cecil after defeating Dark Bahamut who is surprisingly far easier to defeat than just plain old Bahamut.

dark-bahamut

The original summon king counts down from 5 before blasting your characters with Mega Flare for 4000-5000 points of damage.  D. Bahamut only attacks with Mega Flare at the start of the battle and won’t use it again unless you call on Bahamut for his Mega Flare attack.  For his regular attacks he casts reflect on himself and bounces (regular) Flare attacks off to hit one of your characters.  This is only terrible if you can’t heal yourself from his opening Mega Flare attack otherwise this fight is pretty easy.

The only thing I have left to do is the end so here’s to hoping I can accomplish that this weekend.  Afterwards is my intensive and extensive review/analysis of the game.  I’m debating whether or not I’ll start FFV while in the midst of that or stick to my rule of “doing my homework” before I continue to play.

Games Finished Watching This Week: 0

Game Currently Watching

Title: The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Series: The Legend of Zelda
Genre: Action/Adventure/Puzzle – Fantasy
Developer: Nintendo
Original Platform: Nintendo DS
Original Release Date: December 7, 2009
Let’s Player: Olizandri
Date Started: Unknown

legend-of-zelda-the-spirit-tracks

I first discovered the world of Let’s Plays when I went searching for one for Faxanadu.  Prior to this I’d only found a silent play through of Kid Icarus, and I purposely watched that since I detested the idea of listening to anyone talk while I immersed myself in the gaming action.  It turns out I just needed to find the right kind of person, and Odinspack33 was perfect for my first “talking” play through (I also later found a great one for Kid Icarus by NintendoCapriSun who’s still one of my favorite Let’s Players).  To date, I’m not sure how many LPs I’ve watched, but I can honestly say there’s only one person I stopped following for various reasons (no names here since I don’t want this to be anywhere near to a bashing blog though if you shoot me a message through my About page I’ll tell you who and why through email).

I loved watching people play video games growing up as much as I loved playing myself.  In fact some games I much prefer watching, and the Zelda series is one of them.  I’m okay at playing it, absolutely love A Link to the Past Ocarina of Time, and Majora’s Mask is my favorite of the series (it’s literally described on the wiki as the “oddest, darkest, and saddest”), but I’m much more of a strategist/puzzle solver.  This is the reason I much prefer turn based RPGs like Final Fantasy (…or what FF used to be.  Whatever, this isn’t supposed to be a rant post), but I greatly enjoy watching games like Zelda unfold.

So it was to my profound delight that I discovered Olizandri’s YouTube page only a couple of weeks ago, and I immediately dove into his Let’s Play of Phantom Hourglass, which I didn’t know came before Spirit Tracks, the game I’m currently on.

He’s a super, upbeat English guy (wasn’t I just talking about the English accent?) who’s pretty amazing at voice acting to boot.  I especially love his “old man” voice, but I also appreciate him reading all of the lines of dialogue.  Watching Let’s Players for so many years has made me want to try my hand at it, and viewing expert ones is guiding me to what I want to do with mine (if I ever get to it).  I already read the dialogue in Final Fantasy games, and I tend to do voices, too.  I definitely like when LPers read it, and I want to emulate that.  I think it makes the watcher far more engaged in the game, and one rule I’ve heard all LPers state is you always want to keep talking.

While I wouldn’t feel right fully rating a game I didn’t play at all myself, I can at least watch it for its story and take the Let’s Player’s point of view on the game play/mechanics into account.

Olizandri has also done Final Fantasy XIII, huzzah!  This means I may finally be able to watch that if I don’t have time to play it first.  I’m still strictly going in order with the FFs, and I’m only just about to finish IV, so it may be a long time until I get there, but it’s good to know I have options when I do.

What are you currently playing and/or watching? Is it something new or old?  Is it a first time run or a replay?  What’s the genre?  Would you recommend it?  What’s on your radar to play next?

I look forward to your comments!

The State of the Gamer: 9/27/16–>

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