The State of the Writer: 1/12/17

<–The State of the Writer: 1/5/17          The State of the Writer: 1/19/17–>

A weekly post updated every Saturday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 277,058
Prior Word Count: 277,120
Word Difference: -62
Status: Editing
Progress: Reread-through of Chapters 4-6

There’s a naughtier version of this picture on the linked site that would actually be quite appropriate for The Broken Rose, but while the story is MA, I’d still like to keep the pictures no more than PG-13.

As for the supposed backtracking, I often read parts of the story on my phone, since I email myself all the time.  During one of these sessions, I noticed some egregious errors (e.g. the wrong form of “your/you’re” #horrified) that I couldn’t correct in that particular format.  I figured I’d go back and do a quick read-through.  I doubt it’ll take that long considering I’m already halfway through Chapter 4 already, and I’ve only had one editing session for this.  I’m also probably going to skip Chapter 5 (the letter chapter) since I didn’t see any issues therein, though on the other hand, I may just read it to keep with the flow.  I haven’t decided yet.

Chapter 8 is going to take a long time to edit.  I have more notes for this chapter than any other, and I feel it’s the most disorganized due to it being a bit of a transition chapter.  Aeris begins to come more into her own, and she starts showing more (innocent) affection towards Sephiroth.  It’s quite cute, but it’s also the start of a mutual growing affection, and you have to be careful with the timing of such things.  It took me 43 days to edit Chapter 7; it may take me 83 days to edit Chapter 8.

I’m hoping to fix the (relatively) minor problems with Chapters 4-6, repost them, and start organizing my Chapter 8 notes by this week.  As luck would have it (or federal holiday timing would have it), I’m off this Monday for Martin Luther King, Jr Day.  I really should do something service worthy, since it’s supposed to be a day of service, but I’m always so tired and in need to extra sleep :\

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 649
Status: Drafting
Progress: Introduction defining “Greek Tragedy” complete


I’m happy to report that I managed to finally start this essay last Saturday, and I’m happy with what I have so far.  I may be changing the title of it from “Half a Tragedy” to something else, but since this something is yet unconfirmed, I don’t want to talk about it yet.  Rest assured, it’s a bit academically punny or at the very least it makes (what I think is ) a clever reference similar to “When the Moon Has Turned to Blood,” which refers to a line in the hymn “When the Saints Go Marching In.”

The biggest hurdle to this essay is not repeating what I’ve said in prior ones about my favorite general.  I’ve already defended his…well not innocence, but at least lessened culpability in both “Heart of Darkness” and “The Seventh Is the Darkest.”  I’m thinking of updating the former of those essays as HoD is now a year and a half old, and I’m now aware of the concept of “mens rea” or “guilty mind” (and I have this song to thank for putting it into my own).

I plan to work on this essay more this upcoming long weekend.  Doing this weekly post on Thursday instead has indeed freed up some time as I hoped.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 1/5/17          The State of the Writer: 1/19/17–>



20 thoughts on “The State of the Writer: 1/12/17

  1. Pingback: The State of the Writer: 1/5/17 | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

  2. I’m always horrified when I find silly errors in my blog posts after I publish them. It’s almost like my brain skips over them and reads what it should be, not what it actually is.

    Enjoy your day off! The great Martin Luther King, Jr was also an INFJ. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh it’s so embarrassing! I’m supposed to be this grand English major, and I’m making this amateurish errors. The horror! But then I cut myself some slack and realize that I can’t possibly catch every little error.

      I found that out, too, when I looked it up! Nelson Mandela was, too. It seems to be a sign of people who try to engender long lasting change, which makes sense. We don’t want to solve little problems; we want to solve the big problems so that the little problems aren’t even an issue any more. It’s just logical. Instead of fixing a leak, replace the whole pipe 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • My excuse is I have no fancy English edumacation 🙂

        There’s a lot of really inspiring people in the INFJ club, but unfortunately also some disturbing evil idiots that I’m not so proud to share a MBTI with…

        Liked by 1 person

          • Thanks! Honestly, if someone asked me to define what a “verb” is, I’d have no idea, lol. I just write down words as they sound in my head. I’m sure my English teachers would cringe if they read my stuff, haha. My background is in electronics, even though I hate math. I like building circuits and now I get to test cell phones because it. 🙂 I like writing down words more though, and my pipe dream is to get paid to do that someday.

            I’ll give you a hint. Rumor has it that a very, very evil idiot who killed millions of innocent people in unspeakable ways and caused a horrific world war was an INFJ. Many valiant INFJs on the internet disprove this theory constantly though, thankfully.

            It takes a lot to make me angry, but my close friends know to run if I ever am, lol. It’s another INFJ quality. Never piss us off 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • I think that’s the best way to do things! A lot of times if I need some inspiration I’ll watch some epic movie with fancy sounding language like LOTR or Gladiator. Those never fail to inspire.

              Words are like circuits in a way! They lay a path to light the bulb, and omg I’m a GIGANTIC dork lol.

              Ooooh geez, that dude. Me and him are the same sign…AND he’s in INFJ ughhh. That scares me a bit, because when I was bigger elitist, I used to have, well, not genocidal thoughts dear god no, but they could’ve led to that. I’m way too empathetic to be that awful, though I do get righteously angry at the whole human race. INFJs are the Advocate though, and unless we count anti-advocates, then I say we outs him from our club.

              I’m a slow burn anger, but I understand the line in One Winged Angel “estuans interius ira vehementi” (burning inside with violent anger) so well. It literally does feel like there’s a fire eating you up inside. My rage scares me, and (omg…going with the last thing I said, I’m half-cringing, half-laughing at how this will sound) I have my mother’s temper, which is REALLY bad, but it takes a lot to get me to that point. I feel like I have a shorter fuse now that I’m a bit older, but it depends on the situation. I think I have less tolerance for people who try to take advantage, because I spent a good deal of my life being a doormat. I wanted people to like me by any means necessary, so I’d allow behaviors that totally wouldn’t fly now. I’m much better at standing up for myself even though I absolutely hate confrontation. I always feel so awkward afterwards, questioning whether or not I overreacted. Gah stupid feelings being complicated.

              Liked by 1 person

              • OMG you’re right! Words are like the current that lights the bulb (or my dream of becoming a writer), voltage is the potential to live my dream, and resistance is those damn publishers and critics out there. It’s the wannabe writer’s version of Ohm’s Law: Current = Voltage / Resistance. Yes, I’m also a gigantic dork, lol.

                Yep that awful dude. Trolls on the INFJ groups I follow always name drop him to create hostility. So annoying… It’s completely normal for INFJs to hate the sad state of humanity, while loving and wanting to save it at the same time. We’re hella complicated but caring people 🙂 That’s definitely rules out history’s scum bag.

                I also have that burning anger inside, aka INFJ Rage. I’m pretty sure my parents are both INFJs too and they have it as well. It takes a lot to make me release it though. I had a huge problem with bottling up my anger and I exploded on the wrong people in the past (I still feel terrible about it even though it happened years ago). The older, and much wiser, me has learned to process my chaotic feelings better. Finding out I was an INFJ helped me understand myself better. I really wanted to hug my computer monitor when I read the INFJ description, after I took the test, lol. I wish I could reach out to that troubled young kid I use to be and tell her to STOP making herself miserable by trying to be a “normal” extroverted person. I was also a doormat back then but not so much now.

                Oh and the martial art I take also helps with that potent anger problem. It’s quite soothing to hit stuff and throw men who are twice my size to the ground, after a long stressful day at work. *evil laugh*

                Liked by 1 person

                • We need to make a meme of this. It’s like absolutely brilliant! (Ah! Another pun lol)

                  You know what even if he can be argued to be one, there are terrible people for every personality type. We also have MLK to they can shove it. Since one of the traits is caring, then that nulls and voids that idea, since someone who’s truly caring would never do something like that. I suppose it could be argued that he cared about his people enough to do atrocities, but I’m going to reject that. Ugh, I hate how my brain always has to play Devil’s Advocate. It’s good in some situations (like when I defend Sephiroth), but bad in others (…this).

                  I’m pretty sure the rage comes from being able to see how things can and should fit together, and the frustration that people keep making the same mistakes. It’s just so easy for us to realize that you can’t continue to put a bandage on a gaping would; you have to find the cause and source of the bleeding, and not only stitch it up, but ensure the wound doesn’t happen again. This often takes sweeping systematic changes, and it’s so hard to get people on board with that, because status quo and whatnot. It’s maddening. Also the fact that you could have all the words in a thousand tongues and people STILL won’t understand you. You feel like you’re speaking a different language, but it’s just that they don’t get that the things you want to do will fix the big picture/sweeping problem, and they’re not going to see the results right away. Also none of the emotions are simple. I can’t just be angry. I’m always angry then sympathetic/empathetic to the person who got under my skin, because I can feel their emotions, too. Then I feel guilty, and I want to pull my hair out.

                  Knowing that my personality type is this and has a name has been so useful, because so many things make sense. My misunderstood childhood, hypersensitivity, depression. It’s like “Yasss, it has a name! Now I can understand it and have a chance at doing something about it!” I really liked that meme you posted with the stork saying the manual would be too heavy. So. True. I would have so much to tell my younger self, too. Stop trying to fit in the box that people are attempting to shove you into. You’re fine the way you, and they way you think may be weird, but we desperately need weird thinkers.

                  Jazzercise/dance aerobics helped me out, too. Ugh, I want to get better so I can do that again. Endorphins are your body’s natural heroine, and they so help lol.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • Haha! Another great pun indeed. We totally need to make this a meme.

                    I thought of that angle as a defense for Mr. Scum Bag as a INFJ too. I always see everyone’s side of things, if I agree or not. It’s useful and annoying.

                    Most people don’t want to change until it’s too late. They need to actually see the bad thing happen in order to understand it. Listening to people warn them about it just doesn’t sink in. And yes, it is infuriating! For example, whenever I see the environment getting destroyed for short term economic benefits, it makes me really angry. What good are a few jobs if you can’t breathe the air in your city, or if you pollute all the clean water and have none to drink?

                    My rough time in the public school system makes so much sense now. Let’s face it, the classroom environment is designed for extroverts, and if you’re not one, you will feel like you should be. In my early 20s, I thought for sure I had manic depression or some other mental disorder. I fear there could be a lot of INFJs out there, who don’t know they are one, getting misdiagnosed with things 😦

                    I hope you feel better soon! I would be too scared to attempt Jazzerice due to my horrible IRL dance level, haha. I swear I have two left feet… But yes, Endorphins are amazing! It explains why I turned into a happy exercise fanatic.

                    Liked by 1 person

                    • Is that an INFJ trait?? Seeing both sides of things and empathizing when you also want to kick the person in the shins? Ughhh, I always thought it had something to do with my being a Taurus sun sign and Libra moon sign. The Taurus is stubborn, but the Libra is flexible and always wants to find a balance. I always felt like I was torn in two directions. Wanting to stand my ground, ,but wanting to be fair, and standing my ground (even when I knew I was right or was reasonably convinced I was) seemed like I was being unfair. This is why I drink lol and bemoan the fact that I can’t have simple emotions.

                      It is SO frustrating especially when it’s something that history has shown again and again and again and again. Why do we keep going around in circles, learning nothing from past mistakes? There’s a great quote from Martin (Ice and Fire dude). “It all goes back and back and back to our parents and their parents before them. We are puppets dancing on stings, and one day our children will pick up our strings and dance in our stead.” It’s like no one learns and/or no realizes that we don’t have to make the same mistakes.

                      The environmental thing infuriates me, too. What matter is money when you can’t breath the air or drink the water? Yes, you’ll be able to hold out for a while if you have wealth, but eventually if you destroy enough, you’ll destroy yourself, too, and we have SO many narratives that warn us about messing up the planet, my favorite FFVII being one of them. That also has a corrupt business man as president, and I want to tear my hear out because people don’t see stories like that as warnings. Granted video games are considered bastard media (another gripe), but Hunger Games is essentially the same thing!

                      Omg yes, you’re so right. I think it’s why I learned to act like an extrovert. I wasn’t teacher’s pet, but I did like the validation of saying something correct in class. My BFF still have problems speaking in public, and she told me that once she literally fainted in front of class when she had to speak. It’s pretty awful to force people to do things like that. Not everyone is going to have a career situation where they’ll be forced to be the center of attention.

                      I bet there are. I had no idea, but reading the description, it makes so much more sense. Since I have a name, I now have an explanation and reasoning behind how I think.

                      Haha Jazzercise is thankfully very nonjudgmental! And the instructors give you direction. I’ve done Zumba, too, and that’s so much more hectic. The instructor faces a mirror and pretty much just points. It was fun, but I prefer Jazz 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • Yes, it definitely is! I’m an INFJ and a Capricorn. I was destined to be a stubborn cranky lady who feels detached the world she wants to save, lol.

                      Humanity is stuck on repeat and there’s nothing I can do… 😦 I love that quote. So sad but true.

                      Don’t get me started on recent pipeline approval things. Our Prime Minister is all for those too, sadly. It’s also oddly hilarious that people are still blaming Video games for society’s evils. Some people just have sealed minds that cannot be opened.

                      I’ll never forget the day in Grade 7 when I was suppose to present a project to my class. I was in one of my stubborn/cranky moods, and I hate being the center of attention like that. I remember getting really bad anxiety whenever I had to present things to the class in school. I just thought “fuck this” and walked out on the class. I was seen as the “good quiet kid with few friends” so it shocked my teacher/peers quite a bit, haha. Honestly, if your an introvert, you’re likely going to find a job where you don’t have to present things.

                      I still think I’d be terrified in a Jazzercise class… I’ll stick to punching things, throwing people to the ground, and learning how to expose pressure points. 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • I think Capricorns, Tauruses, and Aries are the most stubborn of all the signs haha. It’s the horns. My mom was a Capricorn and oh man did we often not see eye to eye. Most of my IRL friends are Aries, which is really funny. They tend to be more fiery and passionate, but they’re also good-natured, and I’m pretty fiery and passionate, too…and bull headed :p

                      Really?? Trudeau? You know…I’ve heard some understandable criticism of him. He has a really good public persona, but there are some critiques. That sucks he’s all for the pipeline, though I’ve heard it’s a Canadian company? So much for for orange menace wanting to put America first grrrr. I was just having a conversation on FB about the closed minded thing and conservatism. I really try to understand all points of view, but it’s hard for me to crack that kind of shell, because I can’t understand how you can ignore science and logic. The person I was talking to made a good point about how there are people who go with belief and reaction instead of science and logic. It’s frustrating, but they’ll just shut their ears and their minds and utterly ignore the facts in front of them *sigh*

                      I really wish schools understood that not everyone wants to be the center of attention, and that’s not a bad thing. Since you mentioned that I have to agree: most education is made for extroverts, and if you’re not, you could be in danger of receiving bad grades. I think back to how many classes I was in that gave you a grade for class participation. I think it’s why I studied super hard to the point of over-studying so I wouldn’t sound like an idiot if I had to speak, and I’d usually try to go first so I wouldn’t just be called on, because God forbid I not know what to say. That embarrassment would last a lifetime. There are just some days where you can’t put on the show.

                      You gotta keep up with your Lightning training though! One day she’s going to show up and is going to expect the best 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • I never thought of it before but you’re right. It has to be the horns, lol.

                      Yep. Pretty boy Trudeau thankfully has mostly Liberal ideals, but oil is such a huge factor in our economy that he has no choice to to bow to the will of the almighty oil companies. Honestly, I’m not a fan of any politician. They all find a way to disappoint me so I mostly stopped paying attention to politics. That’s a good insight into the conservative closed mind. Sad, but true.

                      Agreed! Oh I hated classes that marked for participation. That’s the reason why I stopped taking French class. I wanted to learn the language, but we were marked heavily on class participation in discussions *rolls eyes*

                      I’ll keep trying to make Lightning proud to have me as an obsessive fan 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • I can honestly say I didn’t know that oil was so huge in Canada either. I’ll refrain from making a statement about how FFVII parallels this with Mako (energy from the dead *cough cough* destroying the planet *ahem), but I am filing the thoughts away for a later date.

                      I like people who make an attempt to better the world. No politician is perfect by any means, but I was a huge fan of Obama. There are some obviously valid critiques, but he did the best he could with what he was handed, and you could tell he truly cared about making a difference.

                      Hm, if you want, I may be able to find a way to get you Rosetta Stone for French! I can ask my husband. I really want the Latin one, but he can only find the one for Latin Spanish. I still remember quite a bit of French from school. It’s a lovely language. Most classes want you to literally speak it, but I was teaching myself Latin and German with books, and if I had the time, I think I’d be fine. Plus, I could just listen to people talking online or something like that. I never really thought about that “school is made for extroverts” thing. I always knew it inherently, but seeing it in words makes so much sense.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • It’s not just any oil here… It’s called the Alberta Oil Sands and its extraction process is the absolute worst way to get oil in terms of environmental impact. I’ve read stories that say the water is so polluted in some communities around the area that you can light in on fire… I don’t know how true this is (I’m skeptical about everything I read online), but still… Gotta keep those short term jobs instead of a healthy place to live! *sighs*

                      I liked Obama but your new guy not so much, haha. Trudeau’s heart is in the right place at least. I like his stance on the refugee situation and equality issues. The Stephen Harper dude we had before him though… *shudders*

                      Je ne parle pas francais is all I know now, lol. I’d definitely like to learn it some day so I’ll take you up on that if you have a copy kicking around. 🙂 I feel like I want to go on a crusade for introvert rights, but my rally cry would be way too awkward. Plus I’d have to leave my gamer cave.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • You learn something new every day. The whole oil thing is such a (literal) mess. I wouldn’t put the water thing past reality. I’ve seen situations where you can light fires on water if there’s oil floating on the surface, but being skeptical is never a bad thing`

                      I just have to pause a minute and tell you my one cat Cid rolled on the keyboard and unapproved your comment for a moment lol. He then tried to climb into my purse. I love kitties so much.

                      The fact that humans in general cant’ think in the long term is SO frustrating. We could build an entire energy infrastructure based on renewable resources like solar and wind, leaving fossil fuels in the (literal) dust, but because there’s money in big oil, it’s not being done. That money isn’t going to mean anything when you can’t breath the air, but I guess the people getting rich won’t ever have to worry about that, and besides it’ll be their children’s problem ugh.

                      I need to figure out how to save the world without leaving my room. I need to get on this plan stat.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • Oh cats.. Mine hate it when I’m on the computer and not paying attention to them. They’re so demanding but cute 🙂

                      We need to stop wasting money/time/resources on this fossil fuel poison. It will eventually run out anyway. We might as well stop destroying our planet now, and start creating jobs around renewable energy sources. That will never happen until it’s too late though. I feel so powerless sometimes 😦

                      Let me know if I can do anything to help with your plan. From the safety of my gamer cave of course 🙂

                      Liked by 1 person

                    • The problem is you’re thinking logically and like an advocate. You want to solve the big problems before they become bigger, because you see the big picture. Eventually, the day of reckoning will comes, and it’s far better to be prepared for that eventuality than to be left with our proverbial pants down around our ankles. It’s a shame the world isn’t as rational.

                      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: The State of the Writer: 1/19/17 | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

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