The State of the Writer: 2/19/17

<–The State of the Writer: 2/12/17          The State of the Writer: 2/26/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
Title:
The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 274,050
Prior Word Count: 274,545
Word Difference: -495
Status: Editing
Progress: 1st edit of Chapter 8

white-ribbon-shoes-2

I spent yesterday organizing my notes more and planning to add them into the story, but I was too tired after organization to bring the latter plan to fruition.  I’ll work on it today hopefully before it gets dark.  I’m supremely happy I don’t have work tomorrow.

There’s a break in this chapter that may or may not become a new chapter.  I haven’t quite decided yet.  Like I said out of all of the “earlier” chapters I wrote, Chapter 8 needs the most attention.  I think I’ve cut the most out of this one so far.  That would be something I could potentially keep track of: how many words I cut out per chapter.  I just love keeping track of figures lol.

Quote: This tiny maid who’d been so abused was now dripping in luxury.  She slipped on flat shoes as light as her skirt, adorned in white ribbons as well.  Maybe they’d go out to greet the great sea.  She wasn’t sure due to the rain. 


Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 1436
Prior Word Count: 1436
Word Difference: 0
Status: Drafting
Progress: N/A

I actually had the plan to work on this this weekend, and since I have an extended one (weekend that is) I may get some words in tomorrow.  According to my notes and outline, I’m about halfway done with it, and I also had some “contrarian” inspiration.

I become riotously annoyed when people purposely attack me for my Sephiroth love, and even more so when they do it under the guise of being fans of him.  The internet is a dramatic place.

I’d commented on a Deviant Art photo of the Great General where he’s holding and contemplating the Black Materia as if he’s not sure what to make of it.  It could be a brief moment of clarity from the eldritch noise where a sliver of himself comes through or it could be a (speculative) time afterwards where he’s thinking about what he’s done, or it could just be his impassive, already indoctrinated “I’m going to kill everyone” face.  Either way, sexiness exudes.

The creator of the picture is a person after my own heart.  Despite only experiencing the game in AMVs, she had sympathy towards Sephiroth, which I readily supported in the comments.  Another Deviant Art member whom I’ve had dealings with (she sent me an FFVII fanfiction to review/critique.  It didn’t hold my interest for a variety of reasons, the main one being it wasn’t about Aeriseph and painted Sephiroth in a bad light), decided she was going to engage me in conversation about my favorite general.  She said something a bit scathing about him, and I know I should’ve just let it go, but I’m a bullheaded Taurus, the horns came out, and I responded to instant regret.  I ignored all of her subsequent replies, because I realized I had absolutely no interest having any discourse with her about the subject.  She responded around three times before taking the hint.  Then she messaged me on tumblr with an apology of sorts, but I’d already decided I’d had enough.

A month or so ago, she’d messaged me, requesting I get in touch with another tumblr user who’d blocked her.  This should’ve been a red flag.  When I messaged the other user (who is another Sephiroth fan), she told me in no uncertain terms that the person in question had made her tumblr experience miserable.  She’d purposely say shit about her, then act disingenuous by liking or replying positively about Sephiroth posts.  I realized what I was dealing with (and found out that’s also around 19.  I don’t like to be ageist, but immaturity is a very viable reason for this behavior) and decided I’m way too old for this shit.  I have no desire to deal with the drama that sometimes comes with fandoms.  I have a live and let live attitude towards them.  You like this ship (pairing)?  Go ahead and read, draw, and share pictures of it.  If I don’t like that particular ship, I’ll just scroll past, because what you like doesn’t affect me.

Unfortunately, some people like to be combative and they have this attitude that everyone must like the same thing, nor can they understand why others may like a particular character (now I’m guilty of this, too, because why the fuck does anyone like that psychopathic, complete monster Hojo or eldritch abomination Jenova?  But I don’t go to fan pages dedicated to them and start trouble, because I am an adult). 

Huh, I really didn’t mean to digress on the drama that can occur in the FFVII fandom.  The point I wanted to make was the experience galvanized me a bit, and now I’m more interested and inspired to continue writing my Greek Tragedy comparative essay.  I’ve also learned to just walk away from certain arguments (this is advantageous in the current political climate, too.  Some things are just not worth arguing about/engaging with.  Your energy is better served elsewhere like in drinking wine or eating ice cream).  I don’t wish to engage in discourse with people who are either disingenuous ( as in attempting to reel you in by seeming to like what you like only to use it as an opportunity to bash it.  Seriously?  Who the fuck has time to do that?) or people whose minds won’t change no matter how much evidence you present.  To be honest…this is a pretty good overall lesson.  Fight the worthwhile battles and leave the rest.

We’ll see if I get to work on the essay tomorrow.  I’m supposed to take all of our rings (mine and my husband’s wedding bands and my emerald and ruby) in for cleaning.  I want to do that first thing in the morning so it’ll all depend on how my energy levels look afterwards.


In good news I’m currently caught up on all my book reviews.  I posted the “unfinished” one for Vassa in the Night late last week, and I’ve started going through and working on some of the blogger tags/awards I still have on my checklist (two more left!) and quicker essays.  I’m also toying with the idea of creating my own award, so stay turned for that.  I don’t want to give out too many details and ruin the surprise 🙂

I also tested out my Yeti microphone this weekend with and without the pop filter, and it sounds really good.  The pop filter definitely makes a difference, and my voice is started to get better since I’m now taking pills instead of an inhaled powder for my asthma (it’s a temporary reprieve, but I think my doctor wants to reexamine my medical regime for asthma management).  Maybe next week I’ll make a legitimate recording.  Then I have to figure out how I’m going to get it on here hm.  I do still want to upgrade this blog to premium, but I’m trying to wait a few months.  It’s the same price as an Amazon Prime membership, but I pay that in January, and I’d like to not have that amount of money come out of my account so close together.  If WordPress does it month by month, that would be so much better.  $8.33 per month is very doable.

I think I’ll do the 30 Day Video Game Challenge next week…all in one day.  I can work time like that.


What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 2/12/17          The State of the Writer: 2/26/17–>

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28 thoughts on “The State of the Writer: 2/19/17

  1. Pingback: The State of the Writer: 2/12/17 | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

    • I saw you were reading that! How are you liking it so far? I’ve tried to read it a couple of times when I was younger, but I couldn’t get into it.

      I bought a bunch of books this week even as I was complaining about having no money, because I make no goddamn sense, but just like drugs, one can always find money for books.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s hard to believe some people have such misguided negative opinions of the Great General… Their loss I say! It sounds like you used the super effective “INFJ Door slam” technique. It’s just not worth wasting time arguing with some people. But yeah, I sort of know how you feel. I always get annoyed at some opinions of a character that is very special to me. I found a certain Mage’s negative review of FFXIII recently, and I couldn’t resist having a little chat with him about it, haha. It was very respectful though. I feel that his opinions are just as valid as mine, even if I disagree. The people who hate FFXIII just because that’s the cool thing to do aren’t worth wasting my time on.

    Congratulations to all future recipients of “The Shameful Narcissist” award! 🙂

    Best of luck with your audio goals! I honestly spend way more than $8 USD a month on coffee alone, haha.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I was feeling magnanimous and replied to her, but I’m more than ready to do the block thing. She’s very immature (apparently only 19) and doesn’t seem to understand that people can just block you without give you a reason/explanation especially if you’re harassing them.

      I’m trying to learn to curb my initial reactions to things, because I KNOW I’m reacting with emotion over logic, and I can have quite a sharp tongue, and (though I may think they’re wrong) people are entitled to their opinions so long as they’re informed. What always needs to be remembered is the emotions you feel towards any character or story are valid, and once people are made aware of that, they should respect it, and that mage in question is very good with that hehe. We’ve butted heads (in a friendly way) about VI vs VII, but in a way I kind of like it, because it shows that you can disagree respectfully.

      I have no patience for people who just hate things for the sake of hating them and vice versa. Know why you dislike or like something! It’s one of the reasons I stopped reading reviews of XIII, because I was falling into that trap and also listening to one of my dumb ass friends on Facebook who doesn’t like it for a shallow reason, but then he doesn’t like VIII because he thinks the main character is too moody-broody. Once I realized those were his reasons, I kind of figured his opinion was butt lol.

      I need to figure out a graphic and make sure I don’t forget anyone. How. Embarrassing. Would. That. Be o.O

      The microphone works great, and $8 a month isn’t that much, but I just don’t want the back to back with Amazon Prime. I’d love if they had a monthly option.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yep, that age group can be very immature. 19 is the legal drinking age in my province though! I don’t remember much about that age, haha.

        It’s like a constant battle between logic and emotion in my mind. Now that I know more about how I am, I can keep my emotions in check by thinking logically, if that makes sense, lol. My initial emotional responses to things always got me in trouble in the past. I’m mostly quiet but I am very capable of telling people off, if they provoke my rage. But yes, that mage in question is truly an upstanding human being! I enjoyed the civil discussion I had with him, even though I disagreed with some things.

        I can understand why some people hate the XIII games (it represents a direction most veteran fans of the series hate), but to hate it “just because” annoys me. Squall and Lightning are very similar and both of them get that shallow “moody” label a lot. I think they are both INFJs who have a lot of depth that most people just don’t understand. I can’t wait to attempt Squall’s adventure again. I like him a lot too.

        Liked by 1 person

        • It’s 21 in the states because we’re ridiculous lol. Though most people drink years before that clandestinely. Your brain doesn’t actually fully mature until the ripe old age of 25, which really says a lot for our “Pick a college NOW!” culture. It’s why teenagers make such bad decisions. They’re literally programmed to do so. Your logic circuits haven’t quite developed yet. *sigh* This is why I wish psychology knowledge, especially child psychology was more common.

          I’m better at keeping my emotions in check with logic…after they’ve run their course, but as I’ve gotten older, my tolerance for BS has gone down dramatically. I used to be such a doormat, and I’d let people walk over me, because I wanted to be likable. Nuts to that hehe. I’d rather be disliked for the right reasons than liked for the wrong ones.

          What direction do veteran fans hate? I’ve heard the complaints about how it’s too linear, and I was discussing this with someone else, because I’ve heard counter complaints about how XV (and XIV I think) are too open world. Seriously people? Make up your mind! I think people just want to complain. The only complaint I have is the turn based battle system going away, and I’ve stuck with that stubbornly hehe.

          People hating things just because it’s “cool” to hate them bugs the hell out of me. It’s okay to have your own opinion about something. Many of my IRL friends don’t like VIII and IX, and I couldn’t care less. Their reasons for dislike were shallow for one thing, and I’m not going to change how I feel just based on that. People are moody for a reason, and well written characters are, too, and both Squall and Lightning have very good reason for being the way they are (going back to psychology).

          I was just saying in my last FFF post about how organized FFVIII is, and it has my favorite card game.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I did not know that! That explains why my emotions were out of control in my early twenties. My poor logic was still developing and couldn’t handle them, haha. It’s a terrible time to decide your future when you still don’t even know who you are yet.

            I was a doormat in the early school grades. Teenage me was so silently angry at everything that I didn’t care about pleasing anyone anymore. It is so much better to be true to yourself and hated by many, than to be a miserable fake loved by all. That’s how I see friendships. It’s all about quality, not quantity. I’d much rather have few friends I feel a special connection with, than to have many acquaintances who don’t really care about me or what I have to say.

            From what I’ve seen, most of the Final Fantasy traditionalists seem to think the series started to nosedive after IX, and XIII represents the rock bottom of the series to them. It’s “too easy” and “boring” in their opinions. Which I can totally understand, but 100% disagree with. Most of the traditionalists seem to think XV is bringing the series back to “life”. I’m happy they are liking a series important to them again. It’s their loss they can’t understand the standard of excellence Square Enix achieved with the legendary Final Fantasy XIII trilogy 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

            • I’m a quality over quantity person, too. I’m very certain it’s a major introvert trait hehe. I’d rather have a few good friends than a bunch of acquaintances, but when I was a teenager/young adult, that’s what I did, because it was the “it” thing to do. I compromised a lot of my viewpoints then, so now I seem much grumpier in my old age. I was jut figuring myself out, what I wanted, what I’d accept, and now that I know it, I have no problem living it. I really don’t understand the desire to be surrounding by a whole bunch of people whom you can barely say two words to as opposed to having a deep conversation with someone who understands where you’re coming from.

              I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with the “Final Fantasy traditionalists” aka “the boys club” I’ve mentioned before. I really think they just didn’t see or care to see beyond IX’s surface and took it for a silly, little game with big-headed, cartoony characters. I consider that their loss for missing out on the depth. These are the same people that think Sephiroth is a “mommy’s boy” and/or the main evil, and I’ve really just stopped engaging those people in discussion, because there’s nothing to really be garnered from there. This makes their opinion on XIII pretty worthless to me lol.

              Liked by 1 person

              • Fake friends are the worst too (I can tell when someone is being fake with me, I’m an INFJ lol). All smiley when they talk to you, then they rip you apart as soon as your back is turned. I’d much rather prefer the company of an enemy who honestly hates me to my face, haha.

                These are just my unqualified observations of a small sample of internet trolls. But yep, that “boys club” is still very alive and angry in the depths of the internet. I hate playing this card, but having a badass woman as the main character likely caused some hate for XIII too. I also see the Great General being called a mommy’s boy a lot by this crowd. Haters are just gonna hate, so the hell with them, lol.

                I’m really excited to find out what you think about the FFXIII games and Lightning. We can definitely still be friends if you hate them though 🙂

                Liked by 2 people

                • Unfortunately, I was super gullible when I was younger and I took people at face value. Even now, my first instinct is to trust what people say and give them a chance. I’m much much quicker to slam the door though at betrayal and my intuition is more finely honed. This of course led to a world of hurt when the betrayal inevitably occurred, and I’d be more pissed at myself for not seeing the “obvious” signs.

                  Oh 100% the “boys club” was pissed that the main character of FFXIII was a kick ass lady. These are the same people who were mad about Rey and Finn in The Force Awakens for being female and black respectively. Their so used to being the center of attention that when they’re not, they scream how unfair it is. Think about the insults that are used when they’re insulting male characters. Squall is moody-broody and emotional (which women are), Sephiroth is a “pathetic mama’s boy.” Lightning is a bitch. These are all gendered insults, because the worst thing you can be is a woman *barf* What’s funny though is FFVI had a (arguably) female main character (two if you want to be technical) and one of them didn’t even have a main love interest! The second one was a bad ass general/ice queen. And FFVI is the one the “boys club” loves more than any. It’s a great game (I like VII better obviously), but it’s funny that that’s their paragon. I guess because there are so many characters and they all have a focus, but the main ones are definitely female.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  • I’ve been betrayed a few times in the past. That sting hurts a lot, and I trust almost no one these days. I’ve been honing my mad door slam skills since high school,haha.

                    I’m so glad there’s none of that boys club BS here on WordPress (from what I’ve seen anyway). It’s like we’re in some kind of internet utopia here 🙂

                    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well, all I know is that that *Sephiroth* guy is a terrible, awful fellow who *stabs Aeris* and is Cloud’s *nemesis* so bad bad bad flame flame flame bad bad. And did I mention he *stabs* Aeris??

    😀 I’m totally kidding. Please don’t hate me.

    That’s ridiculous, though. I definitely think age is a factor… *everything* is dramatic when you’re in high school or even college. I forgot that until just recently when I was a teaching assistant for my master’s… Wow. Luckily I haven’t come across that too much in the Dragon Age fandom, but I also tend to just scroll by and maturely roll my eyes in superiority when someone says something I think is flatly incorrect. Ahem.

    Glad to see you’re still chugging along with The Broken Rose! And that’s really cool that you’re thinking of creating your own award! Have fun and good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s amazing to think back to that era, because you can’t help but see it through the lens of adulthood. You can literally not get that mindset back because your brain matures around the age of 25, so thinking like a 19 year old or younger is much more difficult. You’ll generally have the veneer of your adult experiences.

      Every fandom has some kind of drama, but I’m happy to see Dragon Age doesn’t seem to be rife with it. I’ve found a tiny bit with ME, but most of it has to do with what people thought of the ending of 3. I’m holing off on talking about that until I finish the ME3 LP though, because I want a fresh perspective.

      It’s been a few days since I’ve had the energy to edit, but it’s the weekend now so I want to dive back in to editing. This was a rough week! It’s weird, because it was a short one for me, but still rough.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: The State of the Writer: 2/26/17 | The Shameful Narcissist Speaks

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