Longer ago than I’d like to admit, I posted a Final Fantasy Friday about Fashionistas and Fancy Fellows, in which I detailed whom I thought was the dapperest dresser of them all. It was one half of a pair of questions, and I promised to fulfill the other side of the promise the following week. I didn’t do it then, but I didn’t quite forget and figured I’d pull the question out a week when I was too busy or too tired to think up something more complicated. I’m feeling a little under the weather. The past two days have been extra stressful, and my throat is a bit sore, which could mean this asthmatic is about to develop a chest cold, so now is the perfect time to pose an easily answered question.
Who is the worst dressed Final Fantasy character?
Before I answer this, let me quote from the site I also linked in the
Fashionista” post, because it’ll give you a major clue about whom I’m about to lay the fashion smack down upon (FYI – don’t click that until you’ve seen my answer if you don’t want it spoiled).
“This outfit is preposterous. It’s a send up of ’90s urban fashion, scrubbed clean for an appearance on The Lawrence Welk Show. [They] look like [they’re] ready to deliver a sanitized performance of “I Left My Wallet in El Segundo,” complete with clarinet accompaniment and bubbles floating by. “
I cried. This is not even the best the site has to offer, though I disagree with the blanket statement about all Final Fantasy characters. The worst dressed person is clearly Tidus from Final Fantasy X.
Seriously…what the fuck is this?
As a joke one time, my husband removed the pant leg from a pair of bondage pants so it looked like the above, and I threatened to divorce him. I have no idea what the designers were thinking, and can only imagine the words “fantasy-esque fanny-pack” were blurted out as a joke that someone took too far. Wakka’s outfit is just as ridiculous, so at least there’s some solidarity in senselessness amongst Blitzball players. What’s funny is I find Lulu and Auron’s outfits to be bad ass; Yuna’s is the fusion that TIdus’s looks like it attempted, both elegant and functional. Even Rikku, despite that gratuitous “strip” introduction scene isn’t dressed any worse than FFVII’s Yuffie, and hell, they’re living in Waterworld,so you gotta be prepared to swim.
*sigh* Well, it’s Final Fantasy. At least we know the villain will be well-
…
#done
Is it safe to say that FFX has the worst dressers in the franchise? This is not a knock against the game, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I guess when technology is considered evil and transportation is only by ship on an ocean ruled by an evil leviathan, non-ludicrous clothing becomes the least of your worries. Stay away from the summoner? Stay away from the sewing machine.
Who is your top pick for worst dressed? Do you agree with me about Tidus? Wakka? Seymour? Which character commits the most egregious fashion faux pas for you?
The Shameful Narcissist Speaks 
I’d have picked Wakka as worst dressed, though Tidus’ outfit is pretty insane from either a fashion or function point of view. I also wondered why Auron wears a coat he has to remove one sleeve of just to fight. It seems like that would make countering a surprise attack difficult.
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I think Auron’s outfit is going by the Rule of Cool, but I always wondered that myself! Why didn’t he just put his arm through his coat, unless it has some connection to his condition and/or maybe it was just easier?
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I don’t know, as bad as Wakka is at least he kind of matches. Tidus has like a completely different style on every limb.
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Agreed. It’s like he decided to divide his body into four different quadrants and dress each of them differently. I mean Wakka may be wearing a kindergarten romper, but hell, those are IN now.
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Lightning is both my best and worst dressed character. See Amazon Warrior, Moogle Queen, and Miqo’te Dress Garbs from Lightning Returns (to name a few) for reasons why I want to Snow Punch Square Enix’s marketing department and design team. In battles, she actually says: “You saw me dressed like this, now you have to die.” too, haha.
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I love her regular outfit! I’ve saved quite a few cosplays of her. I’ve seen the Cloud Lightning (did I actually just have to say that?), too, which of course doesn’t help the “female version of Cloud” bots. I haven’t even played XIII yet and that irks me. Female characters don’t have to be versions of male characters for you to talk about them. There’s that one outfit where she has the wings. I like that one!
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Ha! Looks like I did read this article in a previous blogging live 😁
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I definitely agree with your pick on Tidus. He seems to have too much going on all at once. A close second are some folks from FFXII: Ashe’s napkin skirt and Vaan’s weird genie vest that show off his contoured “abs”. Those are both gross to me as well.
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Was JUST talking about Vaan’s outlandish outfit in another comment lol. I figure he’s not even important to the plot so they probably just put him in any old thing ;D
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Yeah, his top from the store probably came with a can of paint to do the abs part to complete the outfit!
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There’s a reason you don’t see a lot of cosplays of him lol. I can’t even say it’s a later Final Fantasy issue, because FFXIII has well dressed characters! And I’ve seen a few from XIV and even XV isn’t bad.
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In defense of the FFX game, I always thought Yuna’s outfit was kinda sexy.
Worst dressed, though? I can think of some candidates from FF12.
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I love Yuna’s outfit! The ladies of X are dressed perfectly well, and Yuna has my second favorite outfit next to Lulu.
Hm, whom from 12 has drawn your fashionable ire? I think Fran and Balthier are the best dressed. Vaan’s outfit is a bit outlandish, but he’s not important lol.
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I’d just like to point out that you just said the main character of the game is not that important… And you’re not wrong at all. XD
In any case, if Vaan’s not badly dressed enough for you, how about all the outfits Sora from Kingdom Hearts wears, that make him look like he’s being sponsored by the buckles and zippers store?
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Yeah, even with my limited knowledge of the series post-VI, I knew Tidus was the clear winner in this contest. I wonder how these bizarre designs came about. It’d be awesome to hear exactly how the conversations between the developers went.
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All joking aside I couldn’t agree more. It’s clearly not conducive for streamlined swimming, which would make sense for the sport they play. A lot of the NPCs are dressed in clothing that I suppose is comfortable and sensible for island living since the world is made up of small archipelagos now. That could be the reasoning behind it!
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Snow. Easily Snow. Sure other characters have impossible hairstyles, and Tidus has one of the most annoying laughs in all of video games. But Snow’s attire is ripe for a Family Guy riff like the one they gave Colin Farrell. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=koR6Ob8gTco
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Bahaha, Snow does kind of have that douche attire going on :p I think because I find him attractive I give him a pass ;p
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Yep. FFX every time. Those shorts Tidus wears are stupid as all hell! And the sword he has from the promotional material isn’t nearly as good as previous entries. It’s sure as hell no gunblade.
Having said that. Lulu and Auron look cool as hell.
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I think they HAD to make them look bad ass to make up for the cascade of nonsense that was Tidus and Wakka.
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I remember the first time I saw the first official images of Tidus and thought “oh, for fuck’s sake…this better at least play good.” Now I was very pleased with the final product – still one of my favorite battle systems in the series – but how on earth Tidus got through every level of quality control for visuals and nobody said “are we serious here? Are we actually going to put that out into the world?” is a question that can never be answered.
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I love X’s battle system. How you can switch out characters without it taking a turn so you can always have the right person for the job!
I…guess they thought “Hey! It’s the end of the 90s. Let’s throw together this amalgamation of bondage shorts, a fanny pack, wallet chain, hoodie, and hiking boots! Make it look like the 90s threw up all over this kid.”
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Let’s laugh at the ugly outfit Yuna. Hahahaha.
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Nooooooo Yuna is an adorable cinnamon bun who cannot be laughed at, you monster! I actually like her outfit with it’s Japanese influences in the kimono dress.
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I can forgive the Final Fantasy X crew more than I can most, because the character designers built a culture in that game where nearly everyone is dressed awfully, so it all fits in. Even then, though, Tidus is just dressed horribly. Granted, the few other Zanarkand folk we saw were also dressed poorly, so that may have been his culture but still, that’s an eyesore.
For the record, I feel the same way about Final Fantasy XII. Lot of bad dressed characters, but it seems to be the culture of that world. Except for Balthier. I’d wear that outfit out.
Fang from Final Fantasy XIII though doesn’t have that excuse. Her outfit’s a mess, and the fact that she’s surrounded by a lot more generally well-dressed characters just highlights that.
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I think it was due to the island culture of the game, which made sense, so I have to give them some credit there, but Tidus…his outfit is unforgiveable, BUT now that I’m thinking about it, the Fayth that was dreaming him (the little black kid) was dressed in a similar fashion with the hood if I recall, so Tidus looked like that because the person who manifested him dreamt him up that way.
Balthier and Fran are the best dressed. I’m guessing XII’s crew is dressed for desert living since there were a lot of deserts? I need to do a “Final Fantasy Clothing” analysis or something, because there is definitely a mien in all of the games.
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I think “WTF is he wearing?” is the first thing I thought upon seeing Tidus for the first time. Wakka and Seymour also look a bit stupid, you’re right. There seemed to be a weird fashion thing going around in that world though. To be honest I actually quite liked Fang’s outfit from FFXIII because I thought it had a sort of Greek goddess feel to it but it doesn’t match anyone else’s, it’s very out of place. If Vanille was wearing something a bit similar, being from the same place, it might have worked.
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Oh yeah! That’s not that bad. It’s got that drape thing going on. I know little to nothing about FFXIII, but that is odd that Vanille isn’t dressed the same way if they’re from the same place. Vanille’s outfit reminds me of Rikku’s from X.
There is no excuse for Tidus, Wakka, and Seymour. It’s like they all were run over by a bad fashion bus and were too addled to realize how awful they looked. Plus I’m not fond of either TIdus or Seymour’s voices. Wakka’s is fine, but Seymour has that smarmy, too high/whiny, villain voice, and don’t get me started on Tidus. Usually villains have lower voices because Evil Sounds Deep lol.
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Eurgh, Tidus has the voice that is meant to be stereotypical cool dude voice and because of that it makes him even more annoying. Seymour was a bad villain overall, his final boss battle was bad too. I knew he was the villain as soon as he opened his mouth because it sounded like someone was pretending to do an evil voice. Luckily there are enough well dressed and well voiced characters in FF to negate their effect.
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Is THAT what it’s supposed to be??? Oh man did they fail miserably with that. Maybe surfer dude? I could see that since Blitzball is sort of equivalent to surfing at least in terms of taking place on/in water.
Seymour isn’t even a good villain name. Like what the hell? The name Seymour doesn’t strike fear into the hearts of mortals. Out of all of the villains, he probably has the worst name for one. Like most of them follow a standard villain naming convention (yup…those exist) where they use harsher sounding consonants, sibilant ones, and/or ending with a harsh one or -th, which is actually really huge in making someone sound evil. Lots of demons and bad/fallen angels have that -th thing going on. Seymour has the sibilant beginning, but the rest of the consonants are softer so it just doesn’t work. Did I mention I’m kind of a linguistics dork :p It’s odd that FFX still works though with an annoying MC and irritating villain. It shows the strength of the rest of the characters.
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It doesn’t exactly strike fear into the heart does it? “Look out for Seymour!” “Oh no! It’s Seymour!” Maybe they thought that people wouldn’t think he was the villain and it was meant to be a surprise when he gets evil so they gave him a normal name… Who knows?
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Because I loved the musical Little Shop of Horrors growing up, all I can think of is “Suddenly Seymour,” and that makes me crack up laughing 😀
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Oh no, I’ll have to sing that now whenever I talk about FFX. What have you done?
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Mwahahaha, I’m a way better villain than Seymour EVER will be >:) If it makes you feel any better, the same thing happens to me…
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