Essay

The State of the Writer: 12/3/17

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 12 Comments

<–The State of the Writer: 10/26/17          The State of the Writer: 12/17/17–>

A biweekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and any completed the prior two weeks.

Finished This Month: 1

Project: Essay
Status: Finished Written – Editing Audio

I’d love that number to say “2,” but I’ve already spoken of my NaNo tale of woe, though I did write something in November for a collaborative project soon to be published.  The written part is entirely finished and proofread but I’d like to have the audio recording edited before it’s posted.  The essay is a comparative between two games that have had a long standing flame war with their respective fans, focusing on one aspect in particular.

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The State of the Writer: 10/22/17`

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<–The State of the Writer: 10/15/17          The State of the Writer: 10/29/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and any completed the prior week.

Finished This Week: 0

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 259,494
Prior Word Count: 259,807
Word Difference: -313
Status: Revising
Progress: Chapter 2

I decided to change the order of the beginning scenes in Chapter 2.  Then I changed them back after I remembered I’d chosen that order based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (which I just now decided would be the picture, because why not?).  I was going to do this long flashback bath scene after Aeris first wakes up and realizes she’s clean, but the more I though about it, the more I realized that I was right from the start.  I wrote some additional paragraphs, which I do like, so I’m going to try to incorporate them into the body of the story, but I need to put back in what I cut out.  Thankfully, I rarely delete anything plus I email myself frequently, so I have back versions of the story.  Sometimes my paranoia comes in handy (though that might not be the right term, since I have lost stories before).

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The State of the Writer: 9/17/17

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<–The State of the Writer: 9/10/17          The State of the Writer: 9/24/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include (but not be limited to) any and all work(s) in progress (WIPs) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, and reviews.  Additionally, this post will showcase what writing projects I’ve completed in the past week as a sort of weekly roundup, as I’ve seen other cooler bloggers do.

Finished This Week: 3

Project: Book Review
Title: Gaslight Hades
Author: Grace Draven
Date Posted: September 11, 2017

One book review finished out of many needed this past week, but I’m starting to look at the reviews as yet another long term project, especially if I’m going to finish three or so books a week.  This novel is in the running for my Book of the Year, and Grace Draven may very well be my new/current favorite author.

Project: Award
Title: Not Really Another Liebster Award
Author: Inkbiotic

As the title states, it’s not really another Liebster award, but rather one I scooped up on Ms. Inkbiotic’s blog as it was so offered.  It was a great deal of fun, and it roused her out of hiding to answer my questions in turn.  I call that a win 😀

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The Unfinished Seventh

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More Final Fantasy essays, metas, and examinations can be found here.

Today is the 20th anniversary of Final Fantasy VII’s North American release.  As with prior years, I always attempt to post something to commemorate the occasion, and I was fortunate enough to have this essay half completed (also fittingly as you’ll soon see).  Despite being on vacation this week and the next, it was still a challenge to finish, and I nearly had to find an alternative to post, but my stubbornness prevailed, and I am able to celebrate my favorite story of all time’s release on the day it happened with writing, the method I love the most.

A Greek tragedy depicts the downfall of a basically good person through some fatal error or misjudgment, producing suffering and insight on the part of the protagonist and arousing pity and fear on the part of the audience.  A true or full tragedy should evoke such, as they are natural human responses to the spectacle of suffering and pain, which causes relief at the end through catharsis as the spectators are purged of these feelings.  There is a release in witnessing painful pageantry and its subsequent resolution, but when tragedy is halved, leaving all of the sorrow and none of the purge, the tale lingers without this necessary release.

The story of Final Fantasy VII has endured for two decades where countless other games are antiquity’s lost.  It is frequently discussed and forever argued.  There are neither clear cut answers to many of the questions the narrative asks, nor a satisfying release to the tragedy it presents.  Lifting one side of the scale high in the air without the resolution of catharsis to balance.  Like an unresolved seventh in music, the tragedy of the story lingers in respect to Sephiroth.

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The State of the Writer: 2/26/17

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 6 Comments

<–The State of the Writer: 2/19/17          The State of the Writer: 3/5/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 273,586
Prior Word Count: 274,050
Word Difference: -464
Status: Editing
Progress: 1st edit of Chapter 8

Yesterday was a productive day/evening for editing.  I drank enough coffee to not quite give myself heart palpitations, but still remain alert (the sweet spot!), and I made some pretty good progress.  Chapter 8 has a chapter break that could technically be a new chapter, but in reading what was beyond, it’s all either the same thing conceptually or extraneous.  I’m going to read through and decide what I want to keep and incorporate either in the beginning part of the chapter or elsewhere while cutting the rest.

I still have no idea what picture I’m going to use for this chapter.  It needs so much work I really haven’t had time to think about the “finishing” touches.  The substance of the writing has been my central focus.  I’m sure I’ll think of something in the second or third edit.

Quote: “Your innocence is pure, my little flower.  My strength comes from corruption.”

“But you’ve only used it to protect me, and I love it so much.”  She yawned again and slipped against his neck. 

*I’ve used it to protect you now within this future life.*

“If you use it for good…”  Her little voice was fading as slumber drew Aeris towards sleep.  “What does it matter where such strength has its source?”

Unblinking and behind the mask, Sephiroth’s guilt fought to remain.  He tried to respond, but words soon failed for this truth had no retort. 

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 1436
Prior Word Count: 1436
Word Difference: 0
Status: Drafting
Progress: N/A

I might have to put a moratorium on this essay until late spring.  I just don’t have the wherewithal to write about Oedipus complexes and “mommy issues” right now, and there’s no way I can write an FFVII/Greek Tragedy comparative essay without talking about that.  It wouldn’t be complete.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 2/19/17          The State of the Writer: 3/5/17–>

The State of the Writer: 2/19/17

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 28 Comments

<–The State of the Writer: 2/12/17          The State of the Writer: 2/26/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 274,050
Prior Word Count: 274,545
Word Difference: -495
Status: Editing
Progress: 1st edit of Chapter 8

white-ribbon-shoes-2

I spent yesterday organizing my notes more and planning to add them into the story, but I was too tired after organization to bring the latter plan to fruition.  I’ll work on it today hopefully before it gets dark.  I’m supremely happy I don’t have work tomorrow.

There’s a break in this chapter that may or may not become a new chapter.  I haven’t quite decided yet.  Like I said out of all of the “earlier” chapters I wrote, Chapter 8 needs the most attention.  I think I’ve cut the most out of this one so far.  That would be something I could potentially keep track of: how many words I cut out per chapter.  I just love keeping track of figures lol.

Quote: This tiny maid who’d been so abused was now dripping in luxury.  She slipped on flat shoes as light as her skirt, adorned in white ribbons as well.  Maybe they’d go out to greet the great sea.  She wasn’t sure due to the rain. 

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 1436
Prior Word Count: 1436
Word Difference: 0
Status: Drafting
Progress: N/A

I actually had the plan to work on this this weekend, and since I have an extended one (weekend that is) I may get some words in tomorrow.  According to my notes and outline, I’m about halfway done with it, and I also had some “contrarian” inspiration.

I become riotously annoyed when people purposely attack me for my Sephiroth love, and even more so when they do it under the guise of being fans of him.  The internet is a dramatic place.

I’d commented on a Deviant Art photo of the Great General where he’s holding and contemplating the Black Materia as if he’s not sure what to make of it.  It could be a brief moment of clarity from the eldritch noise where a sliver of himself comes through or it could be a (speculative) time afterwards where he’s thinking about what he’s done, or it could just be his impassive, already indoctrinated “I’m going to kill everyone” face.  Either way, sexiness exudes.

The creator of the picture is a person after my own heart.  Despite only experiencing the game in AMVs, she had sympathy towards Sephiroth, which I readily supported in the comments.  Another Deviant Art member whom I’ve had dealings with (she sent me an FFVII fanfiction to review/critique.  It didn’t hold my interest for a variety of reasons, the main one being it wasn’t about Aeriseph and painted Sephiroth in a bad light), decided she was going to engage me in conversation about my favorite general.  She said something a bit scathing about him, and I know I should’ve just let it go, but I’m a bullheaded Taurus, the horns came out, and I responded to instant regret.  I ignored all of her subsequent replies, because I realized I had absolutely no interest having any discourse with her about the subject.  She responded around three times before taking the hint.  Then she messaged me on tumblr with an apology of sorts, but I’d already decided I’d had enough.

A month or so ago, she’d messaged me, requesting I get in touch with another tumblr user who’d blocked her.  This should’ve been a red flag.  When I messaged the other user (who is another Sephiroth fan), she told me in no uncertain terms that the person in question had made her tumblr experience miserable.  She’d purposely say shit about her, then act disingenuous by liking or replying positively about Sephiroth posts.  I realized what I was dealing with (and found out that’s also around 19.  I don’t like to be ageist, but immaturity is a very viable reason for this behavior) and decided I’m way too old for this shit.  I have no desire to deal with the drama that sometimes comes with fandoms.  I have a live and let live attitude towards them.  You like this ship (pairing)?  Go ahead and read, draw, and share pictures of it.  If I don’t like that particular ship, I’ll just scroll past, because what you like doesn’t affect me.

Unfortunately, some people like to be combative and they have this attitude that everyone must like the same thing, nor can they understand why others may like a particular character (now I’m guilty of this, too, because why the fuck does anyone like that psychopathic, complete monster Hojo or eldritch abomination Jenova?  But I don’t go to fan pages dedicated to them and start trouble, because I am an adult). 

Huh, I really didn’t mean to digress on the drama that can occur in the FFVII fandom.  The point I wanted to make was the experience galvanized me a bit, and now I’m more interested and inspired to continue writing my Greek Tragedy comparative essay.  I’ve also learned to just walk away from certain arguments (this is advantageous in the current political climate, too.  Some things are just not worth arguing about/engaging with.  Your energy is better served elsewhere like in drinking wine or eating ice cream).  I don’t wish to engage in discourse with people who are either disingenuous ( as in attempting to reel you in by seeming to like what you like only to use it as an opportunity to bash it.  Seriously?  Who the fuck has time to do that?) or people whose minds won’t change no matter how much evidence you present.  To be honest…this is a pretty good overall lesson.  Fight the worthwhile battles and leave the rest.

We’ll see if I get to work on the essay tomorrow.  I’m supposed to take all of our rings (mine and my husband’s wedding bands and my emerald and ruby) in for cleaning.  I want to do that first thing in the morning so it’ll all depend on how my energy levels look afterwards.

In good news I’m currently caught up on all my book reviews.  I posted the “unfinished” one for Vassa in the Night late last week, and I’ve started going through and working on some of the blogger tags/awards I still have on my checklist (two more left!) and quicker essays.  I’m also toying with the idea of creating my own award, so stay turned for that.  I don’t want to give out too many details and ruin the surprise 🙂

I also tested out my Yeti microphone this weekend with and without the pop filter, and it sounds really good.  The pop filter definitely makes a difference, and my voice is started to get better since I’m now taking pills instead of an inhaled powder for my asthma (it’s a temporary reprieve, but I think my doctor wants to reexamine my medical regime for asthma management).  Maybe next week I’ll make a legitimate recording.  Then I have to figure out how I’m going to get it on here hm.  I do still want to upgrade this blog to premium, but I’m trying to wait a few months.  It’s the same price as an Amazon Prime membership, but I pay that in January, and I’d like to not have that amount of money come out of my account so close together.  If WordPress does it month by month, that would be so much better.  $8.33 per month is very doable.

I think I’ll do the 30 Day Video Game Challenge next week…all in one day.  I can work time like that.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 2/12/17          The State of the Writer: 2/26/17–>

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The State of the Writer: 2/12/17

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 20 Comments

<–The State of the Writer: 2/5/17         The State of the Writer: 2/19/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 274,545
Prior Word Count: 276,905
Word Difference: -2360
Status: Editing
Progress: 1st edit of Chapter 8

ring-pink-diamond

This first edit is less about editing and more about cutting out unnecessary words.  I also repeated myself verbatim in quite a few areas, so those need to go, too.  This chapter was supposed to be about something else, but in attempting to get there, I wound up pushing that topic to the next chapter.  I think that’s why so much editing is necessary.  I still haven’t added any notes yet, but I’m working toward that part.

I don’t think I described the ring above quite how it looks.  I call it tear drop shaped, but that’s not really right.  Well, just something else to work on.  I like shiny things #shamefulnarcissistsecrets

Quote: The rings on her fingers were diamonds today to match the white of her clothes, two on the left and one on the right.  That side was the largest, shaped like a rose with open leaves set in bright platinum.  The band was the same and smaller white stones circled her minute digit.  On her left farthest finger was a teardrop pale pink to mimic the barest blush.

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 1436
Prior Word Count: 1436
Word Difference: 0
Status: Drafting
Progress: N/A

I really want to work on this.  The spirit is willing, but the mind finds it hard to focus.  It’s like in theory I want to continue drafting this essay, but I don’t have the motivation to do it, and I’ve learned that I cannot force myself to do something like this.  If I’m not feeling it, it’s not going to happen.

I’m going to work on some of the numerous blogger tags I have in my notes and some smaller projects.  I also want to test out the microphone I bought myself a month ago.  I still need to get a camera, but the microphone should be all I need to do some of the reading projects I have on my radar…that is if my voice behaves.

Project: Book Review
Title: Vassa in the Night
Status: Planning

I declared this one DNF this week.  It just didn’t hold my interest.  I’ll post a review for it soon.  It’s the last review on my schedule.  After this I’m all caught up.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 2/5/17         The State of the Writer: 2/19/17–>

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The State of the Writer: 2/5/17

/ The Shameful Narcissist / 17 Comments

<–The State of the Writer: 1/29/17          The State of the Writer: 2/12/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 276,905
Prior Word Count: 276,905
Word Difference: 0
Status: Editing
Progress: 1st edit of Chapter 8

I usually try to integrate my notes for a chapter before I start editing the chapter itself, but in the case of Chapter 8 I’ve decided to go in the opposite direction.  The notes have all been organized by content, and I want to start reading/editing the chapter in order to figure out the best place to add them in.  I may alter my methods for this going forward, since it could be far easier than the search one I was using.  Either way, I’ll give something else a try and can decide which way works best for me.

Chapter 8 starts out with a lot of telling/exposition.  There’s over a page of it.  I think I was having trouble starting it, and when that happens, I’ll fall back on “telling” the story instead of “showing” it.  My first goal is to weed through that chaff and see if there’s anything of value therein before I send it to word heaven.

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 1436
Prior Word Count: 1436
Word Difference: 0
Status: Drafting
Progress: N/A

greek-tragedy-masks

No progress on this again this week.  My exhaustion has hit peak levels, and I’ve damn near been sleeping my weekends away.  Just today I took a four hour nap after breakfast.  No amount of coffee can stave off my fatigue.  Yesterday a friend came over so I could show her how to make slideshows on Windows Media Maker, and Saturdays are when I work on this essay, so I knew no writing on it would be done then (I can only do so much in one day).  I don’t think I have anything planned for next weekend, so I’m going to try to get back into the tragedy game then.  Those masks are totally judging me.

Project: Book Review
Title: The Raven Boys
Status: In Progress

I did the preliminary set up for this and started writing a bit of it, but I’ve barely cut into the meat.  I think I have it on the schedule to work on tomorrow (Monday).  I’m hoping my words can do it justice.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 1/29/17          The State of the Writer: 2/12/17–>

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The State of the Writer: 1/29/17

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<–The State of the Writer: 1/19/17          The State of the Writer: 2/5/17–>

A weekly post updated every Sunday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

*I moved the State of the Writer post to Sundays.  Three State posts during the week was too much.  Saturdays are my essay writing days, so I figured Sunday could host a State post.*

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 276,905
Prior Word Count: 277,027
Word Difference: -122
Status: Editing
Progress: Organizing Chapter 8 notes

I found my errant “your,” corrected it to “you’re,” and continued along the path of literary righteousness.  I did some minor edits on Chapters 4-6, but didn’t completely reread Chapter 6, since I did a very thorough edit prior. The note sorting has been completed.  The next part is deciding which to keep and figuring out where they go.  That will be the goal for this week.  Hopefully soon I’ll start the actual edit

Quote: This tiny maid who’d been so abused was now dripping in luxury.  She slipped on flat shoes as white as her skirt, adorned in white ribbons as well.  Maybe they’d go out to greet the great sea.  Aeris wasn’t sure due to the rain.  Either way she figured she’d complete her dress since she’d put on everything else.  Gazing down at the two strips of white in her hand, the little maid’s lip trembled hard.  She wished she could remember how to bind her own hair as it cascaded down in chestnut waves, but her fingers just fumbled among the soft strands, leaving her only with tears. 

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 1436
Prior Word Count: 1436
Word Difference: 0
Status: Drafting
Progress: N/A

tragedy-2

No progress this week.  I have a ton of book reviews to do (and completed one this week).  I’m hoping to work on the essay next Saturday.  I made myself a deal that when I finished it, I’d make my appointment for my next tattoo.  Since I’m planning to get it for my birthday, there’s a (reasonable) deadline to make.

Project: Book Reviews
Title: A Court of Thorns and Roses & The Raven Boys
Status: Planning

I initially had four reviews to do, but I completed Tuf Voyaging yesterday and decided not to do one for In the House of the Worm. I rated it on Goodreads, but while it was interesting, I’ve read and listened to enough reviews that I didn’t feel I had much more to add besides pointing out yaga-la-hai sounds like yog shothoth (at least in the first syllable), and the tunnels they live in are reminiscent of the ones where the Children of the Forest dwell in the north.  There’s a great review by Preston Jacobs here, and there’s another review of Tuf by Vassals of Kingsgrave here for the interested.

I plan on writing the reviews of Throns/Roses and TRB this week.  One of those reviews will be glowing; the other, not so much.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 1/19/17          The State of the Writer: 2/5/17–>

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The State of the Writer: 1/19/17

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<–The State of the Writer: 1/12/17          The State of the Writer: 1/29/17–>

A weekly post updated every Thursday discussing my current writing projects and where I stand with them.  This will include any and all work(s) in progress (WIP) be they creative writing, essays/analyses, or reviews of any type.

Project: Story
Title: The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction (FFVII) Novel
Current Word Count: 277,027
Prior Word Count: 277,058
Word Difference: -31
Status: Editing
Progress: Reread-through of Chapters 4-6

I thought this would be an appropriate picture, as Sephiroth certainly treats her like a (stereotypical) princess, and the rose is appropriate in sobriquet and Chapter 7’s reality.  As I am going back through prior chapters and am currently out of pictures, this one seemed fitting for this tale.

At the very least, doing these read-throughs is fairly quick.  I’m already finished with Chapters 4 and 5 with only Chapter 6 left.  I’m supposed to edit tonight, and I’m hoping to get to it through my exhaustion.  If I finish the chapter by this weekend (and hopefully find that errant and incorrect “your”), I’ll be able to start organizing my many notes for Chapter 8.

Project: Essay
Title: Half a Tragedy Is Worse Than Whole
Subject: FFVII Comparative and Meta
Current Word Count: 1436
Prior Word Count: 649
Word Difference: 787
Status: Drafting
Progress: Potential new title and definition of tragedy in six parts

tragedy

I consider any session where I write more than the last to be a success.  Not only that I thought of another potential title besides “Half a Tragedy…” that I like a great deal more.  It explains not only what continually draws me to FFVII, but also metaphorically describes a personal and unresolvable dilemma.  I think I’ll leave what the new title is for when I post it.

What are you currently working on?  Is it a creative writing project, essay, review, or something else?  Have you just started something new or are you wrapping up a long term project?

<–The State of the Writer: 1/12/17          The State of the Writer: 1/29/17–>

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