The State of the Writer: 8/11/19

<–The State of the Writer: 7/28/18         The State of the Writer: 8/25/19–>

A post updated every other Sunday discussing my current writing projects and any completed the prior two weeks.

Finished Projects: 2

Project: Story
The Broken Rose
Genre: Paranormal Romance
Type: Fanfiction
Fandom: Final Fantasy VII
Length: Novel
Current Word Count: 254,492
Prior Word Count: 254,537
Word Difference: -45
Status: Editing
Progress: Chapter 18 First Edit

Forgiveness by Doreen Richter

So we need to talk about this picture.  This picture was created by the fore mentioned Doreen Richter who was inspired to make it by Northern Lights.  Yes.  You read that correctly.  SOMEONE CREATED THIS BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ART BASED ON MY INANE SCRIBBLINGS.  AHHHHHH.  She posted it on my Sephiroth RP/Fan page, which I’m shit at keeping updated but I try.  I didn’t even know the post was there until about a week afterwards, so I apologized profusely.  She didn’t get back to me on whether or not she has an art page, so I can’t put a link anywhere, but I am completely humbled and flattered that someone drew a picture based on one of my stories.  The detailing on Sephiroth’s hair is nothing less than amazing and must have taken her long hours and many hand cramps to complete.   It’s things like this that help pull me from the miring thoughts of “I’m wasting my time” and “Why am I doing this?” so never think your likes and comments, no matter how brief, mean nothing.  They mean everything ♥

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Mystery Blogger Award #5

Another Mystery Blogger Award this time from one of the best horror authors I’ve ever met, as well as another Sephiroth enthusiast AND Black cosplayer Mercury the Scribe.  She has both a YouTube Channel and Deviant Art page where they share and read their work.

Let’s do this.


  • Put the award logo/image on your blog
  • List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well (That seems to have been lost to antiquity)
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself
  • You have to nominate 10 – 20 people (eh, I’m not going to do that)
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify)
  • Share a link to your best post(s)

Three things about me:

  1. If I could summon a meteor, I would’ve done it years ago.
  2. I just bought a blue wig, but I don’t know if I like how it looks.  Addendum: I definitely don’t like the way it looks so I’m giving it to a friend.
  3. I honestly thought about studying immigration or environmental law after the 2016 election as well as astronomy, but my health is too shitty still to do either.

My Most Liked Post:

I tried to find this.  I really did, but I couldn’t figure out where it was among my stats, so I’m just going to put some links to my favorite posts

Questions from Mercury:

  1. What scares you the most? – Not being good enough.
  2. Do you believe in ghosts of the paranormal? – I believe in the possibility of these things.  We don’t know everything.  I tend to err on the side of science because when used properly, it’s self-correcting.  I also know that even though I have weird feelings/vibes, there could be a scientific explanation for why I have those feelings that I just don’t know about.  However, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to trust my instincts or listen to my gut.  You don’t have to know everything to know what’s right or wrong.
  3. What’s the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you? – My entire life is a joke I hope the universe is laughing at.
  4. If you knew you could get away with it would you kill someone? – I have a list that I won’t talk about so that I can continue to claim plausible deniability.
  5. What’s your current favorite post you’ve written? – Already did that above.

My Questions

  1. If you could have a meteor strike anywhere in the world, what locale would feel your fiery wrath?
  2. Would you rather the world end in fire or ice?  (Bonus if you can explain why both would be nice.)
  3. What’s your favorite species of shark?  (Shark Week special, ya’ll)
  4. VR is now completely realistic.  What fictional character are you spending time with?
  5. I invite you to my pillow fort party.  What kind of character/fandom pajamas are you wearing and what are you bringing for dessert?

Answer at your own leisure or peril.  I’ll be here drinking my wine.

Mystery Blogger Award #4

I am four times more mysterious than I ever could have imagined.  Apparently my mysterious nature is a mystery even to me.

The Mystery Blogger Award was created by Okoto Enigma, and I am delighted and honored to have been nominated for the award by  Dani of Touch My Spine Book Reviews, a wonderful book blogger and an ultimate sweetheart ♥

The Rules:

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  • List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  • You have to nominate 10 – 20 people.
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).
  • Share a link to your best post(s).

Well, we’ve already accomplished the first four items on the list, so I believe we’re doing passably well.

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The Mystery Blogger Award #3

For the third time this year, I’ve been nominated for The Mystery Blogger Award.  I must be a veeeery mysterious person 😀

This nomination came from Ignited Moth, a lovely blogger whom I’ve been following for over a year now.  She writes about whatever the hell she wants, but usually alights on graphic novels, comics, various other books, movies, her own gorgeous artwork, and the book club she’s in with her notorious partner in crime and best friend Cupcakes and Machetes.  IM nominated me a while ago, but I’m abysmal at accomplishing anything quickly (there’s actually an older nomination sitting in my notes, but it requires more thought than this, and I’m too tired and preoccupied to work on that).

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The Mystery Blogger Award #2

I think it would be in supremely poor taste to complain about the awards I’ve been nominated for, because all you lovely people were kind enough to nominate me!  What I can complain about is my lack of time and seeming rudeness is not getting to them until months later, but that’s really just me berating myself, and really shouldn’t be considered a complaint per se.  Regardless, I’m trying to catch up albeit lately, so here I go!

I was nominated for The Mystery Blogger Award by Pokeninja of the blog Nice Job Breaking It, Hero.  She is pretty much an anime and otome expert, and though I haven’t been in the former’s world (alas for time!) nor have I ever really explored the latter’s (though there are now a few games I’d like to look into), I enjoy her site greatly, especially her Melanin Monday feature, which started during Black History Month, but due to popular demand, she continues on a biweekly basis.  Her blog set up is so neat and organized, and she does wrap up posts every week in case you miss something.  If you’re into anime, otome games, and awesomeness, I suggest you check her out!

The Rules:

  • Put the award logo/image on your blog
  •  List the rules.
  • Thank whoever nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link as well.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself (I’m skipping this one)
  • You nominate 10 – 20 people (yeah, I’m only doing 7)
  • Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question (specify).
  • Share a link to your best post(s)

What is the Mystery Blogger Award?

*The award was created by Okoto Enigma*

“Mystery Blogger Award”  is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.

Pokeninja’s Questions

1. Who is your favorite Power Ranger? (from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers only)

Hm, this is something I’ve never really thought about!  I watched the show when it was first on, and I don’t think I really had a favorite.  I haven’t seen the new movie yet, so I’ll have to put a rain check on this question and get back to you.

2. What’s one item you regret purchasing?

I once commissioned a painting of Aeris and Sephiroth, my favorite ship.  It was the very first time I’d ever commissioned an artist, and I gave very specific details about what I wanted in the picture even providing several images to give them an idea of what I was looking for.  I had to specifically email her looking for updates twice, and when I received the picture, she hadn’t done the major thing I was looking for.  To say I was disappointed would be an understatement, but I didn’t want to be a bitch or be blacklisted from the online artist/commission community, so I paid her and was civil though I did expressed my dissatisfaction.  She said that she would work on correcting the issue, but it’s been over six months, and I haven’t heard anything from her. 

I second guess myself though, and wonder if I didn’t make it clear how important that specific thing was, because it was really important.  I wanted to make sure she made their height differential correctly, and she made Aeris way too tall.  Like I have figurines of them, and Sephiroth is at least a foot taller than her, but in the picture, he was two, maybe, three inches taller?  I was uber disappointed, because one of the things I love about them as my OTP is the height differential, and yeah, I know it sounds super petty, but it didn’t fit my mental image of the painting.  It further confirmed my cynical belief that you should never get excited about anything, because I was so excited that I’d found an artist who drew in a style I loved and who was taking commissions.  I could finally get a specific image of my favorite couple.  It’s also spoiled me for taking commissions unless I know I can get a sketch of it first before I spend a single penny.  I paid $150 for a painting I don’t like and haven’t looked at since (it’s just sitting a folder on my computer).  I’m pretty bummed, and I definitely regret it.

3. What’s one show that never gets old no matter how many times you watch it?

I have quite a few go-to shows!  Futurama (which I’m watching right now), American Dad!, Bob’s Burgers.  Yup, they’re all cartoons.  For a non-cartoon Star Trek: TNG.  I love Sir Patrick ♥♥♥

4. Zombies are about to break down your door, you have to defend yourself, the closest item to you is your weapon. What is it and how screwed are you? (the weird question)

Looks like I’m swinging my purse like a champ.  I also have some hand soap.  If those bitches still have eyes, they’re getting foamy soap in them.  I can also call for backup on my iPhone.

5. Who is your favorite megane character?

I’ll admit it: I had to google this term. 

Does he count?

He’s technically wearing glasses, but he doesn’t technically need glasses, because he’s perfect; his eyesight is perfect, and he can see in the dark *swoon*  Hrm…trying to think of a bishie who typically wears glasses.  Oh!  Vash from Trigun!

Omg I need to finish watching this anime.  I have no excuse now that Kisscartoon (and it’s backup 9Cartoon) currently exist.  I had a fangirl crush on Vash even though he’s not my normal type (see prior picture), especially when shit got real with him.  There’s something about a typically goofball character turning serious/getting pissed that is so swoonworthy.

My Best Post…

Best post as in how many views?  Best post as in how many shares?  Best post as in the one that stirred up the most comments/discussion?  Per my stats, the post with the most views at 1150 is Cosplay Confessional – Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), which I find really surprising, but my favorite post at 707 views would have to be my Heart of Darkness, Angel of Light – The Defense of Sephiroth.  That essay was a decade in the making, and I poured so much into writing it.  It could possibly be considered a horcrux, since I put a piece of my soul into it.  I didn’t kill anybody though, hm.

My Nominations

I’m going to try to nominate people I haven’t nominated before.  Maybe I should start keeping track of these things…

  1. The Dragon’s Tea Party
  2. Entertain Me!
  3. Orchid’s Lantern
  4. Mosaicca
  5. Falcon Game Reviews
  6. Boba and Games
  7. Forged from Reverie

My Questions

  1. The Doctor shows up in the tardis.  Are you going to the future or the past?  How far would you go in either direction?
  2. Barring black or white, if you had to wear one color for the rest of your life, what color would that be?
  3. Tea or coffee?
  4. Do you prefer urban, rural, or suburban?
  5. What do you think there should be a wiki for that there isn’t already (I guess this is the weird question)?

Thanks again to Pokeninja for nominating me!




The Mystery Blogger Award

Guess what?  It’s…

ketchup_time_mschaI was nominated for the Mystery Blogger Award by fellow writer and blogger Inkbiotic over a month ago.  It’s time to acknowledge that honor!


I never knew I was this mysterious.

The Mystery Blogger Award…

  • is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there and they deserve every recognition they get.
  • is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging and they do it with so much love and passion.
  • was created by Okoto Enigma.


  • Display the award logo on your blog.
  • Thank the blogger who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  • Mention the creator of the award and provide a link.
  • Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  • Answer 5 questions from the nominee.
  • Nominate 10 – 20 bloggers.
  • Notify your nominees by leaving a comment on their blog.
  • Ask your nominees 5 questions of your choice, including 1 weird or funny question.
  • Share the link to your best post.

My Three Things

  1. I came about the name “The Shameful Narcissist” almost by accident.  I was talking with a coworker years ago and using my false, tongue-in-cheek bravado that I often employ as my brand of humor.  I referred to myself as a “shameful narcissist,” to which he replied, “Don’t you mean a shameless narcissist?”  I responded, “No, because I’m actually ashamed of my narcissism.”  I like the idea and the incongruence (because narcissist generally lack the ability to be ashamed of themselves and the horrible things they’re doing *cough cough*) so I went with it.  I honestly feel that if I wasn’t overly empathatic, I would be a gigantic narcissist, and that feeling what others feels really keeps me in check.
  2. If I had the money and time, I would be a perpetual student.  Due to current events I’ve been thinking about going back to school to study law so that I can advocate for people in danger of losing the protection of their rights, and I’ve also been thinking of studying astrophysics, which seems like utter opposites.  One concerns itself with the often down and dirty nitty-gritty whereas the other is grand, lofty, and about how the universe came into being.  Microcosm/macrocsm indeed, but they’re really just two different ways of trying to make the future better.  I’m reading Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time/The Universe in a Nutshell right now in addition to putting together a information spreadsheet about the 2018 midterm elections, so in a way I suppose I’m trying to do something with both.  I would love to have a Ph. D in English so that I could call myself Dr. Brown.  Hehe, if I studied astrophysics and quantum mechanics, I could make a reference or bad pun to Back to the Future :p
  3. I can’t decide whether or not I love coffee or tea more D:  Coffee helps me stay awake, but tea is so sophisticated.  Help!

Inkbiotic’s Questions

Where did the idea for your blog title come from? What does it mean?
Oh my lord this is hilarious, because I kind of answered this in my own answers above lol.  If you don’t remember, just go back and read that.  I threw “Speaks” on the end of it so you’d all know that I never shut up :p

What are your plans/ambitions for 2017?  I have many plans that have been best laid, and I’m hoping not all of them fail.

  • I want to finished editing The Broken Rose.  
  • I want to exceed my reading goal of 15 books (per my Goodreads).
  • I want to start reediting my original, paranormal romance novel The Serpent’s Tale in the hopes that I can get the courage to resubmit it to publishing agents.
  • I want to do the final edit on my short story The Threads of Sorrow so I can start subbing that again, too.
  • I want to upgrade my blog to premium so I can include audio.  It will make my blog more accessible to people who have vision problems or who’d like to be able to “read” my posts at work (I love when other bloggers have the audio options on essays.  It makes it easier to get through more things).  I also like the sound of my own voice (Shameful Narcissist, don’t blame me)
  • I want to edit and post the numerous videos I’ve recorded on my iPhone.
  • I want to record the video reviews I have planned.
  • I want to start the audio recording of Northern Lights (if my stupid voice would behave itself).
  • I want to catch up on my essay writing.

This is a small sampling and I’m sure most of it will spill into next year.

If you could download any file of knowledge to your brain (Matrix-style ‘I know kung fu!’) what would you choose?  Latin.  I want to know Latin.  If I could, I would download a ton of languages: Latin, German, Spanish, Gaelic, Japanese, brush up on my French.  I would love to be a polyglot.

What do you find difficult that other people find easy?  Bouncing back from rejection.  Not taking things personally.  Not being overly sensitive.  I’ve learned in my old age to not blame myself for this (as I was blamed by others), but I do wish I had a thicker skin.  I’m just amazed by people who can have the worst vitriol spit at them, and they still don’t back down.

What modern saying or common language error gets your hackles up?  “I could care less.”  Come on now!  I’ve stopped being a prescriptive grammarian because it smacks of elitism and privilege, but this one is really simple.  If you could care less, it means you do care, which makes no sense.  It’s just two more letters and an apostrophe.  One little syllable.

My Favorite Blog Post

My favorite post…hm, I really love “Heart of Darkness, Angel of Light – The Defense of Sephiroth” for obvious reasons, but I also really adore the more ubiquitous (for the game) essay of “The Seventh Is the Darkest – An FFVII Meta Examination,” which touches on the point of HoD but expands more on why Final Fantasy VII is so dark, delightful, and a parable for our increasingly turbulent times.  To be honest “Darkest” may be better written as it’s more recent, and writers tends to improve with age.  “The Seventh Is the Darkest” is also a potential name for a horror story I want to write, and I just love saying it (I’ve been repeating it to myself for the past five minutes…)


Gah, I’m supposed to nominate people.  Well I’m going to be mysterious and combative and not do it. Nope.  You can all feel free to do this tag if you wish to, just make sure you include the link for the original creator of it (not me!) that I linked to above.  I almost always forget to nominate someone and then I feel horrible about it later, so I’m going to take the coward’s way out and nominate no one and everyone at all!  Even if we’ve only interacted a few times, I cherish every single one of you (omg why does that sound so sinister??)

My Questions for You

  1. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water?
  2. What are your favorite video game consoles?  Can be past of present.
  3. What’s your favorite comic book based movie?  Who’s your favorite comic book hero (yep two questions in one, why not)?
  4. Are you a planning writer or an impromptu writer?
  5. Weird Question: What’s your favorite kind of hat?